Princess Ouran-Chp1

Started: 05-05-08 Completed: 05-12-08

PRINCESS OURAN

A long time ago, in the Ethereal Realm called Ouran, where there are no lies or pain, there lived a Princess who dreamed of the human world. She dreamt of mortal lives, the hustle bustle of humanity and excitement. One day, eluding her keepers, the Princess escaped. Once outside, the blast of mortal noises deafened her and erased every trace of the past from her memory. She forgot who she was and where she came from. Her body suffered cold, sickness and pain. Eventually, she died. However, her father—the King—always knew that the Princess’ soul would return, perhaps in another body, in another place at another time. And he would wait for her until he drew his last breath, until the world stopped turning…

Haruhi loved that hometown legend. She had heard it since she was 3 years old from her late mother. Ranka, after his wife’s death due to a prolonged illness, used to tell her that tale every night before bedtime in his late wife’s place, and whenever she asked him if the Princess ever made it back to her world, he would always reply, “It’s up to you, darling. You can choose the ending, whether she made it back or not.”

That was before the village matchmaker Renge Houshakuji-sama came. The enthusiastic, loud and energetic lady who had that really creepy high-pitched “Oh ho ho” laugh and obsessed over all things Moe—and way livelier than Haruhi’s cross-dressing father Ryoji “Ranka” Fujioka—came to their house unexpectedly on a Sunday morning—three days after her 5th birthday—and spoke very long and very much in earnest with them, carrying a whole bunch of gadgets and trinkets that she had never seen before and flaunting them proudly at them. Renge-sama was very well-known for making almost accurate predictions and having very high successful rates of matchmaking people, and was considered as one of the most important member of the high-society groups. It was no wonder her father seemed surprised and honoured that she would come all the way to make a house call.

She couldn’t understand much of what Renge-sama was talking about at that time (you can’t expect much from a 6-year-old), but she remembered watching every facial expression her father in the living room made while she pretended to be very interested with a storybook. First they looked happy, then concerned, then slightly distraught, and finally relenting, thanks to the matchmaker’s persuasive words. She quickly looked back at her book when her father turned to look at her, but she could tell from the atmosphere that things would never be the same again.

Since then, her father treated her like a princess. Despite their not-so-well-off background, he tried to give the best for her. She often got the bigger share of her meals and better clothes than he was wearing, despite Haruhi’s insistence to be self-reliant, and had her every whim and fancy met as best as possible. Even when she went out to do the groceries, people showed her with leveled respect and offered her the best they have in their stock. Passers-by and neighbours would greet her whenever she was outside reading her storybooks or playing with her pet dog and would occasionally drop by to present gifts to her and other household necessities to her family. Friends would be extremely nice to her and get her anything she’d asked for. And, as usual, Ranka would tell the same tale of the runaway Ouran Princess before she went to bed. Everything was well looked after and soon she was allowed to do anything she wanted, minimal chores included.

She didn’t understand it at first and took everything they gave for granted. But then, things began to change when she was 10 years old. Strange people started coming into her house to talk matters with her family and started taking her things away. When she asked why, Ranka avoided the question. Then he started to grow more and more distant. She continued to receive excellent treatment from him, but she began to feel like she was more of a VIP guest than of a daughter. He didn’t talk to her as much anymore and had stopped coming into her room to tuck her to bed and tell her the Princess’ story. More than often, she was required to stay in her room and only allowed out at the yard for at least two hours to catch some sun. She stopped going to school as the strange people arranged for a private tutor to educate her. More gifts continued to come in steadily by neighbours, family friends and relatives, which she could only observe through the crack of her door or at the window that had the view of her front yard. Her friends stopped coming to visit her after many days of being able to only talk to them behind the door, and more and more of those strange people came to take her things away, regarding her once in a while.

Haruhi felt alone. So alone that sometimes she would cry herself to sleep at night, especially whenever there is a thunderstorm. There was a huge thunderstorm when her mother passed away, so the fear of thunderstorms was deeply ingrained in her mind, forever unable to recover. Her father used to accompany her during the thunderstorms and tell the Princess’s story and sing her to sleep in his arms, but now, he didn’t even have the courtesy to at least pop his head into her room to see if she was alright.

She would give anything just to have at least one goodnight kiss and the Princess’ story from her father.

Finally, on the eve of her 16th birthday, Ranka popped her head through the door asking her to take a bath she had prepared for her. He had left her the most beautiful blue dress made of silk nicely hung outside the bathroom door, waiting to be worn after she bathed. When she was done, she was called for to dinner at the dining room, and when she got there, she discovered that Ranka had held a lavish feast for her. Thanks to the food given by the people in her village, for once, they got to eat a meal fit for a king. There was chicken, beef stew, boiled vegetables, potato soup, fish and custard cake set aside for dessert later. As usual, Haruhi got the biggest portion, and they were chatting merrily like a normal family again. Everyone looked happy and Haruhi was glad that whatever was going on, it was over and that things have finally come back to normal.

Just when she thought everything was the way it should be, it was not meant to be. When the clock struck at 8 o’clock sharp, there came a knocking on the door. Ranka immediately had a change of mood as soon as they heard the first knock. He quickly excused himself and went to the door to answer it. Standing outside were the strange people again. One of them, whom she remembered taking her dolls and storybooks away, remained at the door while the rest went up to gather whatever remaining things were left in her room to be put onto the carriage which was waiting patiently outside.

“Is she ready?” the strange man asked, his glimmering glasses accentuate his serious Shadow King face.

“Please. Just one more hour with her,” her father begged.

“We’ve made a deal, Mr. Fujioka. I assumed Renge-sama has gone over the specifics with you.”

“At least let her have a piece of cake. Tomorrow is her birthday.”

“Oto-san, what’s going on?” Haruhi asked worriedly. Her father remained quiet, a sad look hung on her face.

No one gave away anything. Haruhi continued to be left in the dark. And it still remained that way after the strange man allowed her father to have her biggest piece of cake and took her away as soon as he hugged her goodbye. Silence continued to hover around her as the strange man escorted her into the carriage and handed her one of her storybooks he had taken from her to read while it took her further and further away from her village and into the outback. She turned around to see most of the villagers coming out of their houses waving goodbye at her, her family being part of the crowd. She tried to ask the strange man where they were going and why her family was not coming with her, but he gave her a disconcerted look and adjusted his glasses, writing feverishly in his notebook. No one told her why and where they were taking here. Everything happened almost so fast that she had not the time to comprehend all this.

This was going to be a long ride.

What If-Chp Finale

The next second was just something that no one had expected would happen.

OJ was hit by Driz—or Ethanole—using his cannon and was sure that his body was pretty much broken into pieces. But when he saw Ethanole aiming the cannon at the vein, he knew that this spelled trouble. This kind of blow was a sure fire to freeze up the walls of the vagina and rupture the blood veins. Shane didn't have to wait for C-Section to bleed to death; Ethanole's cannon will. OJ had to do something quick.

And without warning, he did the unthinkable. He made a rush during that split second when the cannon was fired, lunged forward and immediately suffered another extra blow as the cannon hit him. He felt his whole body going into pieces again and his insides were frozen over, shutting off his breathing. It was like feeling your whole body dropping and slowly plummeting into the depths of the ice-cold ocean. In fact, as he fell into unconsciousness, icicles began to form throughout his body and climbed from the tip of his shoes to the top of his head.

"No!! Dad!!!"

Ethanole has yet to marvel the freezing over of OJ and ready to fire another shot when Jared popped out of his hiding place and was aiming his gun at him with glaring eyes filled with hate.

"Oh, look who's here. Daddy's little boy," Ethanole grinned evilly.

"How dare you hurt my Dad!" Jared said through gritted teeth.

"I thought you hated him," Ethanole asked mockingly.

"No one ever freezes my Dad into a popsicle," Jared moved closer towards Ethanole as he spoke. "No one ever hurts my Dad and makes him bleed. No one ever lays even a finger on my Dad!!!"

A fight began to break between Jared and Ethanole. Butt-kicking and face-punching ensured, including non-stop fires. Jared tried hard not to hit the vital parts of Shane's vagina and get a good shot at Ethanole, but Ethanole was way quicker. He evaded every shot Jared could let out and quickly grabbed his neck, choking him.

"No one can defeat me!" Ethanole shouted proudly and victoriously. "I've been given the power to destroy this city from my one true love Thrax, and nothing can stop me! Ha ha ha!"

In the midst of all the fighting, OJ somehow was able to hear the hectic goings-on and fought hard to open his eyes. He saw a blurred vision of Ethanole clutching his son's throat real hard and Jared's face almost going white out of breath. If he didn't stop him, he would lose him and he could never live up to his promise. Struggling in his frozen casing, he tipped himself and tried to reach out for the treacherous Ethanole. Finally, with much effort, he was able to topple onto the ground with a thud and able to forcefully move his frozen hand towards him. With one final heave, he pushed his hand forward and gripped hard on his ankle, taking the virus by surprise.

"What the...?"

No sooner he said that than icicles—huge ones—began to form throughout his whole foot. Not only that, the icicle traveled all the way to the other foot and froze that up too. Ethanole let go of Jared abruptly and glared hatefully at OJ. Jared doubled over and coughed and choked, trying to breathe.

"You son of a...I'm gonna kill you!"

"What do I have against you...?" OJ breathed out his words.

"You killed my love! It's because of you, he's dead! I'm going to finish where he started and finish you off as well."

"OK, do whatever you want," OJ grinned a little as he noticed Jared slowly getting onto his feet. "But let me tell just one thing: You want Osmosis..."

"You got Osmosis," Jared finished his famous quote as he aimed his gun at Ethanole's forehead. "This is for my dad."

Those were the last words Ethanole heard before the shot blasted off his entire skull.

OJ smiled and whispered "That's my boy..." before slipping into unconsciousness again.

---

OJ opened his eyes and winced at the light streaming into his pupils. After able to adjust his eyes, he soon found himself lying on the ever familiar bed of the room Gillian let him stay in. The first thing he saw when he turned his head sideways was Gillian's smiling face.

"Yo, sleepy head! Back from the dead yet?"

"Gill...?" OJ massaged his throbbing head. "What are you...What am I...How long was I out...?"

"Oh, you're about 5 days out, give or take," Gillian replied, still grinning mischeviously.

"5 days?! What the hell...? How's the baby? Is it out? What about Driz, I mean, Ethanole, I mean..."

"Relax, Jones," Gillian laughed at OJ's panicked look and incoherent babble. "Everything's just fine now. You don't expect 5 days to pass by without something good happen, right? The baby's OK. He's out and he's healthy and strong. It was a tough time that night but after you two trashed that so-called 'cold pill', and after a little time, the frozen stuff that virus shot on the vital parts have all thawed away and the baby was ready to go. Everyone rejoiced over it, man! Everyone was throwing confetti and fireworks and everything. The whole town was a celebration. Shane even named the kid Baby Hope, despite the fact that it’s a he, but then again I can assume that this kid is gonna give her much hope in the days to come. She’s happy, and we’re all happy for her.

"You, on the other hand, didn't look too hot though. As soon as the baby was out, Jared was seen running towards us carrying you in his arms. Man, you look like something Shane dipped in the ice-cream for too long. Fortunately, we were able to thaw you out of the ice as well. You sure worried us all. We were expecting to celebrate over a cocktail or something but you definitely wasn't in a mood for a drink. All in all, everything was a-OK. We stuffed the virus into the afterbirth so that the docs outside there can take out of Shane and everything went swell. They were even ready to celebrate your victory and award you with something as soon as you're up and about."

"I may be up, but I ain't about right now," OJ groaned as he tried to sit up. Gillian helped him.

"Oh, and there's someone here who wants to see you."

OJ looked up and saw that it was Jared standing at the door with a small smile on his face. It's been like, ever, since he had seen a smile on Jared's face. He looked away, feeling awkward. Gillian slinked his way out of the room, leaving them together alone.

"Uh...Hey, Jared," OJ grinned, trying to act as casual as possible.

"Back from the dead, I see, Jones?" Jared said as he walked towards the bed.

"Yeah, well, I'm still alive...and, uh, I..."

"You were great out there that day, I had to admit."

"You ain't too shabby yourself, kid. I bet you didn't get that from me."

"No, I didn't," Jared replied, his eyes not looking at him. "I've got something more than that."

"Huh?"

Without warning, Jared reached out and hugged him tight. OJ was taken by surprise. He didn't expect this to happen from the person that had been avoiding him ever since he enter Shane Metropolis.

"I thought I was gonna lose you..." OJ could've sworn that Jared was trembling in his embrace, trying to fight back tears.

"H...Hey, I'm here now, ain't I? I ain't gonna go until I've done I said I'd do."

"I missed you so much...I never meant anything I said before...I've never felt so alone before in my life when I was in this city...I just wanted someone to really talk to..."

"Shh...I understand..."

"I just wanted you...I want my Daddy..."

"Hey, it's OK. I'm here, and that's all there is to it. You won't ever be lonely again, I promise."

As they continued to be in each other's embrace, OJ could see that this was a beginning of a very beautiful father-son relationship.

What If-Chp5

"Jones! Jones! Jones, wake up!!!"

OJ was rudely interrupted from his dream. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked around his bed. He then noticed that he was the only one sleeping. Driz was nowhere to be seen. Gillian groaned.

"Oh, come on! Stop looking like you've just lost a billion bucks or something! Come on! We gotta go to the U-Chamber right now!!!"

OJ muttered an OK and got up, hastily changing his clothes. He quickly got on the bike and rode off with Gillian towards the direction of the U-Chamber. But as they rode towards the Chamber, OJ couldn't help smiling inwardly as he thought of the night he had spent with Driz.

Yes, you have guessed it, OJ and Driz somehow made it through their relationship. At first, OJ continued to deny Driz and reject him over and over again, but Driz was oblivious to defeat. He kept on chasing after him and sending him gifts and give him butterfly kisses whenever he can. Slowly OJ began to think that maybe Driz was right after all; maybe his guilt for letting Drix die has channeled into a fascination towards Driz, maybe even attraction.

It was about a month ago that OJ finally melted and decided to give it a try. And it worked out rather well. In front of everyone, they pretended that it was all down to business, but whenever they had a chance to escape from public eyes, they glob each other like newly weds or something. Driz even had secret night visits into his room when everyone was asleep and you can guess what lovers do when it comes down to bedding. OJ never dared to mention this relationship to anyone, especially not to Jared. He tried to make up for him and tried to be as much of a father he could be, but Jared had steeled his emotions from him and want to have nothing to do with OJ. In fact, he made it a must to ignore and avoid him as much as possible. Even when the chief tried to help patch up their father-son relationship by pairing them up in a case, but it was always either Jared or OJ who ended up going solo on the case. OJ didn't know what else to do to make it right for Jared, but Driz was always there to give him support.

OJ made a silent promise to himself that once everything was settled and he and Jared were OK, he will openly announce his relationship with Driz, starting with Jared and the rest of the family.

"Exactly what the heck, pray tell, am I doing following you to the U-Chamber?" OJ asked, curious.

"Mother just called," Gillian replied as he swerved sharply to avoid a red blood cell bus. "She said that she and Jared would be working extra late coz Shane's finally gonna have the baby. You're needed there to keep track of the situation and don't let anyone go too near the womb and accidentally fall in. They don't wanna end up drowning or get pushed out with the kid, believe me."

"What? She's pushin' already?" OJ exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah, about an hour ago. Not sure if she'll make it. She's pretty young and everything, and cells are have a hard time trying to help the muscle cells get the kid out. They might consider giving her Caesarean or something."

"Caesarean? She's too young to even have her appendix removed! We gotta get there now! Chop chop!"

"Chopping!"

Gillian again increased his speed of his bike and was soon seen with OJ racing down the road towards the U-Chamber.

---

"Come on, everyone! Put your backs into it!"

Jared and his troops are at the U-Chamber, dressed in diving outfits and all gathered together with the muscle cells trying to help Shane to push the baby out. The muscle cells have received data information from the U-Chamber base that the child's growth in the womb has finally stopped and that it's too big to remain in the uterus any longer, so they've decided to get it out before it takes up too much space and sap Shane off her energy. News pread like wildfire and all of Shane Metropolis soon got ready to witness the birth. The news reporters quickly rushed to the scene to broadcast this birth live throughout the whole city. By the time OJ and Gillian got there, the bridge was packed with people, including the reporters.

"Woah! That's a lot of people here!" Gillian exclaimed, trying to squeeze his way through the crowd. OJ flashed his badge to force the crowd to make way.

"Make way, guys. SPD agent comin' thru'!"

"Mr. Jones! Mr. Jones!" one of the reporters noticed him and ran towards him. "I'm from SNN (Shane Neuro News). What are the odds that SPD and the muscle cells will succeed in getting the child out?"

"That'll have to depend on my cousin," Gillian replied proudly. "He's just right down there coaching his troops."

"Do you think Shane will pull through since she is of young age and most of the cells here are inexperienced?"

"No comment right now, guys," OJ said as he waved the question away. "If you wanna please you fans, you might as well shove your little camera there and let the whole world see what's going on instead of wasting your time asking us dumb questions."

With that, he quickly led Gillian away to a part of the bridge that was less packed before the stunned reporters have a chance to chase after them. From there, OJ and Gillian could at least see from their angle some of the cells hard at work and the baby slowly shifting his position towards going out of the uterus. OJ could see Jared from his position coaching and urging intensely at his troops to help out the muscle cells.

"I never knew it was this soon," OJ commented as he continued to watch, trying hard not to have eye-contact with Jared. "I thought there would be like an extra month or so."

"Well, it can't get any sooner than this," Gillian grinned. "Time sure flies when we're having fun taking care of the little kid now, doesn't it?"

"I know what you mean," OJ sighed. "I'm sure gonna miss that kid. Sure beats having someone to talk to."

"There's always us," Gillian suggested. "And Jared."

"I've tried. He still hates me. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I don't know what else I can do to convince him that I'm sorry. I really let him down big time now, didn't I?"

"Actually, Jones, you made him quite proud."

"What?" OJ turned to Gillian, surprised.

"He's actually very proud of you. Because of you, he made it into the immunity force like he always wanted to be in. Because of you, he is what he is today. And because of you, he's someone everyone wants to be."

"But he's..."

"He's bitter because he was lonely, Jones. My mother said that he's expressed a lot to her when you weren't around. The nerve of her. She knew it all along that you're his old man and yet she never bothered to tell me. Anywho, he's angry because when he's being pressured to excel just like you, he had no one close, no one of the same flesh and blood of his to convey to, to tell his deep and darkest secrets," Gillian explained, his eyes still looking with interest at the pushing of the baby. "I know he has more secrets than he's telling my mother, but he needs someone closer of blood to talk to. And you weren't there, and that's what makes him so tripped up. He was lonely, Jones. He's just too proud to admit it, like you."

"I...I didn't know..." Jones looked away, awkward.

"It's alright. I didn't know either until he actually snapped at you. But there's one thing you should know. He never hated you. Not even once. He just said that coz he's pissed off. We were there when we saw you fighting that weird virus to save Frank. We wanted to help but my mother forbid us to. She said we're not allowed to intervene directly in your city's businesses—now I know why. This was his proudest moment ever. You're a hero to him, Jones. Really, you are."

OJ could hardly believe what he heard. Jared, his son, needed him so much but he wasn't there for him. He was so oblivious and didn't bother to find out what happened in the Penis Plant that he never acknowledged the fact that he actually created a son who needed him the most. It wasn't a matter of feeling guilty about what he hadn't done for him in the past; it was a matter of figuring out what he can do for him right now at this most needed moment.

Suddenly something wasn't right. The troop seemed anxious. They seemed to have trouble trying to get the kid out into the opening. OJ saw Jared taking out a walkie-talkie and shout out throughout the hectic situation for Queenie.

"Yo, calling for Queenie! We have a situation here! We can't get the child out! Seems like it's stuck or something. What's going on out there?"

"There's a problem out there too!" Queenie replied in a crackling voice through the walkie-talkie. "The opening of the uterus seemed to have shrunken in size or something. The kid was supposed to be able to get out but the opening won't let it. Even the vagina has gone smaller than her usual size. The docs are kinda baffled right now. They're giving it another hour, and if the kid doesn't come out by then, the C-section's coming in."

"She can't have C-section now! Her blood vessels down here have already expanded. There's no telling how much blood she'll lose!"

"It seems that the situation here has gone tougher for Shane, the child and our dedicated troops from the SPD and the muscle cells," the reporter began talking to the camera. "Will they pull through or will Shane Metropolis go down? We'll have to see what will happen next..."

OJ heard everything. He knew he had to do something fast before history repeats itself on Shane. Without warning, he ran towards the main control room of the U-Chamber, ignoring Gillian's surprised questioning. He grabbed a diving suit and immediately jumped over the bridge and dove into the womb. Everyone gasped and the reporter announced frantically at what was going on, urging the camera man to focus intently at the womb.

"Ladies and gentlemen, look at that SPD agent Osmosis Jones go! Seems like the cells are going to expect an extra helping hand here!"

Everyone may be amazed and fascinated at OJ's sudden feat and Gillian may be glad and cheering him on, but Jared didn't feel the same way. Just as soon as the other cells made way for OJ to help, the first words that came in Jared's wand were insult.

"What the hell are you doing here? Who asked you to come here?"

"I came here to help," OJ said. "I'm still an SPD agent now, ain't I?"

"You go mind your own business and handle the crowd up there! We don't need you! We never asked for your help!"

"Gill can handle the crowd. I'm just doing what I'm responsible of doing!"

"You? Responsible? Since when have you learnt..."

"Look, I know I haven't been there for you when you needed the most, and I'm sorry, coz I didn't know, and I..."

"Oh, shut it up already!" Jared snapped, venting his anger by pushing hard at his position. "You never cared! You don't bother to care! I never needed you! Never!"

"You can deny anything right now," OJ replied determinedly. "But I'm telling you that I'm not going to make it up for what I've never done for you in the past, but do whatever I can do for you at this moment."

"You can just disappear. I really need that."

"I'm going to be by your side from now on, whenever you need me. I want to be your father, Jared. I don't want to be enemies with you. I want to love you like any father would love his son."

"Why...Why should I believe you...?" Jared sounded hesitant, like he wasn't sure whether to believe him or not.

"Because I'm your father...and you're my son. My flesh and blood. My son."

Jared felt awkward and out of place. He was torn between wanting to believe OJ and ignoring him. All his life, he had been feeding himself with hate for OJ because that was all he had to keep him alive and able to handle life the way he did in the past. Hate was all he had to keep him going. There was nothing else he could feel for OJ. Now OJ was actually promising him things that he had always wanted OJ to do but didn't in the past. He was disappointed by him before, and he wasn't sure whether to let himself fall for the same predicament if he ever failed him again. He felt his heart melt, going weak all over. He struggled to steel his heart back the way it was, but OJ's words and promises bore deep into him and he was faltering.

"Do you...really...mean what you said...?"

OJ didn't reply this time, because as he continued helping the troop, he saw at a far, far distance someone trying to slink away and escape. He stopped whatever he was doing right now and ran after the weird entity.

"Hey, you! Stop right there!"

"Jones, where are you going?!" Jared called after him but OJ was too far away from earshot to reply him back. He told the troop to carry on with the work while he followed him behind.

OJ followed him real close until they've reached the secluded part of the U-Chamber, and it was somewhere near the vagina. From there, the foreign entity disappeared. OJ took out his gun and got ready to hit anything that might be a threat to Shane. Just when he thought he had lost the entity he had chased, he was suddenly attacked from behind. The force was so strong that he was flung headlong onto the lumpy ground. He spun round and was shocked to see that the foreign entity was none other than his beau Driz.

"Dr...Driz?! What...What are you doing here?" OJ asked, surprised.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Driz grinned coldly. "I'm trying to stop the birth and bring down Shane Metropolis in the process."

"What...? Why, Driz? Why are you doing this? I thought you liked Shane Metropolis! I thought..."

"Whatever you thought, you've thought wrong. I've never liked this place. I'm here to help an old lover of mine to, you know, take care of unfinished business."

OJ stared at him in both shock and with questions in his mind. There was someone he loved before him...?

"Oh, look at that little pitiful face," Driz said in mock pity as he took OJ's chin and stroke it gently. "You didn't know that I had someone else before you now, did you? Unfortunately, I do, and you, my sweetheart, are just a pawn in my plan to help my other sweetie fulfill his revenge."

Turned out that Driz was never a cold pill or anything near a medicinal enzyme. He was a virus that had the ability to impersonate any kind of cell, entity, enzyme or just about any microscopic particles altogether. And the shocking thing was that Thrax was actually the old lover Driz was talking about! In the beginning he was just one of those entities that existed in the alcohol Thrax fell into after the fight with OJ for the hypothalamus. He saw Thrax falling deeper and deeper into the depths of the alcohol and though he knew that he was a virus by his inability to withstand the liquid surrounding him, he still needed help. He immediately swam over and covered whatever was remaining in Thrax with a protective shield he created from his body and tried to take care of him as much as he could. But his body was so battered and meshed by the alcohol before that he didn't have anymore time in his hands. Driz have come to like the charisma and the ideology of Thrax about humans and their lives. He was fascinated with the way he was able to hit on so many victims at such short time. And most importantly, he had fallen in love with the fact that Thrax and his evil was the ultimate thing any enzyme should follow.

The day before Thrax finally disintegrated into nothingness, he held out his lethal finger, which isn't too lethal anymore, and stabbed it into Driz's chest. He was shown a scene where Thrax had his misadventures in Frank's body and showed him the face of Drix and his sworn enemy Osmosis Jones. His insides and outsides were modified with intensity that by the time Driz broke out of unconsciousness, he saw himself in Thrax's form and that the real Thrax was slowly shrinking and dying in his hands. But not before he mouthed his last words "Destroy Shane..."

"I will, my love. I will," Driz replied in tears before swimming slowly out of the glass jar.

"It wasn't easy though when I've acquired this new shape-shifting power," Driz finished his tale. "But I've finally got to Shane. I shape-shifted into different kinds of cells and clung onto her like my life depended on it, waiting for the right moment to be able to get into her body without being suspected or caught. And that moment finally arrived when Shane decided to commit suicide. I transformed myself into the likeness of your Drix friend and the rest was history. I saw everything when I was Shane's body hair, Ozzie. The way the guys attacked her from behind, dragged her into the boiler room, then taking off her clothes one by one..."

"No...Stop...Please don't say it..." OJ pleaded, feeling both guilty and heartbroken. "I thought...I thought you loved me..."

"Oh, of course I love you, sweetie, when you're all so guilty and sad and all that crud. You look so handsome when you're so pathetically pitiful. And also when your face look so whore-like in bed."

OJ was really pissed. He lunged forward and had a struggle with Driz, trying to hit the daylights out of him for making him such a love-drowned fool. The struggle went on for quite some time, and Jared, who had heard everything, was about to rush out to help when Driz had the upper hand. He used his cannon to blast OJ, making fly really far and hit the pelvic wall. OJ felt as if his whole body was going into pieces. Driz walked over towards OJ coolly and flashed him a flying kiss.

"My name was never Driz; it's Ethanole, actually. But for the record, I had a great time with you, Ozzie. Thanks for the memories, sweetie."

With that, he turned towards the vagina and aimed his cannon devilish at one of the veins.

What If-Chp3

"He's up! He's up! Thank Shane he's up and about!"

"Uhh...What happened...?"

OJ blinked his eyes to adjust with the light. He saw Gillian and Queenie looking back at him worriedly. He shot up and immediately blurted out a whole long line of questions, "Wha...? Woah! Woah! What happened? How did the U-Chamber go? Did we get to it? Did we stop it? Did it work? Is everything over?"

"What are you talking about? There’s nothing to stop,” Queenie asked, surprised. “But it's over, alright,” The insemination was perfect. We have a new life inside Shane Metropolis we can personally take care until it's ready to be out in the world. The whole town is rejoicing now.”

"What?! Shane's gone up the duff and you guys are actually happy about it?!" OJ sprang to his feet. "Are you all crazy?! Do you have any idea how old is Shane?!"

"Of course we do, duh!" Gillian replied. "But there's nothing to be upset about. She's in good hands—us. We'll help her take good care of the kid. Of course, she need to take care of herself too coz we got limits. If she can't handle it, then it's up to her to decide whether to keep it or not."

“Besides, Shane is already 12 years old and had her first PMS about 5 months ago. It’s rather normal for her to have kids,” Queenie said as if it was a normal thing to say.

"You guys are out of your mind! Shane has enough trouble already trying to cope with the fact that both her parents are dead and now you don't even care that she's gonna suffer for the rest of her life? You're cold, man! You're cold!!!"

"Not as cold as you are when you let Frank die."

"Jared!"

OJ spun round to see Jared leaning on the wall looking at him with those ever cold, uncaring eyes. His blood boiled seeing the white blood cell standing without even caring what happens to the city he's living in. With a loud yell, he dashed towards Jared and pounced onto him. Blow after blow was coming onto Jared as OJ vented out all his anger and dissatisfaction with every punch he embedded on Jared's face. Jared wouldn't take this lying down. He put up with a fight and was determined to give OJ a good sock in the gut. Gillian and Queenie took a great effort to separate them, but luckily Queenie was well trained enough to pull OJ away from his nephew.

"Stop it! Stop it, you guys! You're acting like babies! This supposed to be a joyous where we celebrate life and a new assignment, and I will not tolerate anyone who would want to ruin this day!"

"Joyous?? You call this joyous?? You guys are all nuts! Nuts!!!"

With that OJ barged out of the house and out into the streets. He saw the hustle and bustle of the streets as everyone threw confettis and cheered and chit-chatted excitedly and celebrating crazily, looking happy about Shane Metropolis having a new life they will have to look over. OJ groaned inwardly and continued to run. He ran and ran and ran until he couldn't run anymore. When he looked up, he saw that he was standing exactly the spot where Gillian had found him—the Eye Auditorium. He stood before the Eye Piece and saw things from Shane's point of view where it was all dark with brooms and mops and buckets all around and there was a faint sobbing that followed. OJ could only guess that Shane was hiding inside a storeroom or something bawling her heart out after her horrible sexual experience.

OJ felt like crying too, after what had happened. Everything was going down to the dumps. Everything was over. Shane is going to be living her life like hell and it was all his fault. He crawled into the place where he was found by Gillian, cold, hungry and sad, and curled into a ball, wallowing in self-pity.

"It's all my fault...I should've just took the hypothalamus and fly straight back into Frank. I shouldn't have hung around and trying to prove myself a hero. It's my fault Frank's dead. It's my fault Drix's dead. It's my fault Leah's dead. It's my fault Shane got into this hellish mess...It's my fault..."

As OJ cried, beating himself up about everything, Jared stood at a slight corner, watching him with slight pity in his eyes.

It's almost 2 month's after the rape incident. The cell had fully developed into a tiny foetus. OJ was assigned to monitor the progress of the foetus and he and Gillian (playing truant again, as usual) were standing at the bridge looking down at the foetus. Several important-looking cells dressed in diving outfits gathered around the foetus maintaining it and taking real good care of it. OJ could make out slightly the features of the foetus: black beady eyes, arms and legs that ended in stubs that have yet to form fingers and toes, a head that's larger than the rest of the body and an umbilical cord that stretched way high above their heads to the thick walls of the uterus.

"Isn't he a beauty?" Gillian asked as he admired the foetus like it was a fantastic reality TV show.

OJ didn't reply. He was still musing over the fact that it was his fault that this little innocent foetus had come to being. If he hadn't been so smartmouth and everything and paid more attention on saving Frank than bickering with Drix about working issues and showing off all the time, this would never had happened. As he continued to mused about his misfortunes, the whole place suddenly turned blinking red. A loud mechanic voice annoucing ALERT was on and everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing to figure out what was going on.

"It looks like the alert is coming from the stomach," Gillian said worriedly.

"Well, let's hop on the wheels and go check it out," OJ replied.

Gillian nodded and led him to his bike. Soon they were riding towards the stomach. Once they were there, they had the shock of their lives as scores and scores of cold pill capsules floated into the area and there were troops upon troops of cold pill cadets swarming into the stomach with serious-looking faces and armed with arm cannons. OJ, through his experience with Drix, could tell that those facial expressions meant business, and their business was to fight cold. If they have nothing to blast, their mere existence could cause fatality.

"Drixo-Benzo-Methamphedamine, here to give temporary coughs and cold," the whole troop recited together the exact same thing Drix had said before. "Contains..."

"Yeah, yeah, we know what you contain!" Jared, who have just arrived in the scene, exclaimed. "And we know pregnant women should not take you guys. Well, for your information, you're entering a pregnant area and you gotta go!"

The troop of cold pill cadets were looking at each other in confusion. They were surprised to be sent here for nothing and weren't sure where to carry on from here. As Jared and hi squad tried to shoo them out of Shane, there were red alert lights everywhere, stating enormous level of medicinal toxin. Everyone had to act fast before they all go down with Shane. OJ and Gillian helped. As they tried to get rid of the cold pill troop, OJ couldn't help but notice one of the cadets. Though all of them looked almost the same, this particular cadet had the exact feel and aura of his late partner Drix. His strong built, the way he prepares his hand cannon, the distinctive look on his face, those eyes that said he meant business...it was like staring at a still living Drix standing right in front of him.

"Alert! Alert!"

OJ, Gillian and Jared spun round to see Queenie calling out and running towards them. She had to catch her breath a little before entertaining the trio's questioning eyes.

"I was just from the Eye Auditorium and I've surveyed the outside world. Shane has been taken to the hospital and will be pumped of her stomach. We might be expecting some medical backup team and other entities coming in to stabilize her too."

"Right," Jared nodded, then turned towards the cold pill cadets. "You heard her. There'll be a pump coming in to take you away. There's no one having a cold in here. I suggest you guys pack up and leave."

A silent trail of mutters occur as the cold pill cadets turned around and faced the stomach, waiting for the pump line to come and fecth them. Jared ordered some of his men to go down to the U-Chamber to see if everything's alright. Gillian followed them while OJ made himself useful by sending the cadets on their way. Not long later, a long tube descended down into the stomach and started squirting out some clear fluid ridden by enzymes ready to get into action saving Shane Metropolis. Many cells gathered around to watch as the enzymes and cold pill cadets switched places. Some of the SPD members ushered the enzymes to different places to stabilize parts that were under red alert, while the rest ushered the cadets to get in line to be pumped out. As the last colld pill was in the tube, OJ realized that the Drix-look-alike was still standing at his place. Jared noticed and stomped towards him.

"Hey! What are you still doing here? Get back in line and get the hell out of this body!"

"I'd rather stay, just in case there really is any symptoms of coughs and cold or any bacterias hanging around here," the pill replied nonchalantly, preparing his cannon.

"I said you're not needed here!" Jared shortened the distance between them, his eyes glaring dangerously at him. "And that's final! Now get out of here before you kill Shane and her kid!"

"One pill won't kill anybody," the pill grinned maintaining his cool, which obviously pissed Jared off because he was prepared to grab him and toss him into the line. But OJ suddenly jumped in between them and blocked Jared.

"Woah, woah! Cool, man! Coll down! Ain't got any need to be all tough and everything."

"Out of my way, Jones! This smart ass has got to go!" Jared yelled, threatening to grab and throw OJ as well into the pump tube.

"Come on, man. There's nothing bad about having him around," OJ tried to calm him down, but Jared wasn't buying it.

"You actually think that everything's gonna be OK if you let him stay here?! Shane's almost died because of him and his troops and we would've all gone down with her! Is that what you want?! To let what you've done to Frank happen to Shane too? Now, back off, Jones!!"

"Hey, chill, man," OJ was fighting to urge to slap him silly. "I'm just saying that one pill never hurt anyone. I had a cold pill for a prtner once, and all the time he never brought any harm to Frank. I can vouch for him, Jared. Just trust me on this one, OK?"

Jared glared venomously at OJ for maybe about a full 30 seconds before letting out a huff and turning towards his squad. OJ heaved a sigh of relief, glad that nothing rash happened, what with the rest of Jared's squad staring nervously at them, anticipating something bad to happen, like a huge fight maybe, between them.

"Is he always a ticking bomb?" the pill asked.

"Don't mind him. He's been that ever since I got here."

"Why did you help me? I thought you're one of them."

"Well, I'm kind of a newbie here. You kinda remind me of a friend of mine back where I came from. You wouldn't by any chance knew someone by the name Drix, would you?"

"Drix?" the pill lit up. "You mean my twin brother? What happened? Where is he?"

"You're Drix's twin?" A sea of surprise, fear and guilt swam in his heart.

"Well, all of us have the codename of Drixo-Benzo-Methamphedamine, but Driz's the name. What happened to him? How is he now? It's been a while since I 've seen him after college."

"He..." OJ hesitated before telling him the whole story. By the time he finished, he realized that he had unconsciously led Driz into the U-Chamber. By then, OJ could see that the SPD members together with the enzymes moulding some sort of protection over the foetus and were whispering conforting words to it at the same time.

"I see..." Driz rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"He was a good guy. He's pretty serious like you but he's kinda fun to be with. I'm...I'm sorry I wasn't able to save him..."

"It's alright. I don't blame you. He died in the line of duty. I believe it's an honourable death for any cadet in the force. So, this is the place where Shane's child is formed, eh, Mr. Jones?"

"You...You can call me Ozzie," OJ replied awkwardly, unable to shake off the feeling that Drix was still alive and kicking.

"Hey, Jones! Glad you're here!" Gillian waved at them from afar. "Everything's a-OK now! The kid's fine! They're working on trying to keep the kid alive! Mother even told me that she's stabilized in the outside world already. Everything's gonna be fine!"

"Yeah, I see that," OJ replied, then turned to Driz and said, "Man, and before that I thought of actually letting more of you stay there so that this kid could just go and end Shane's sadness and everything would be a-OK. I can't believe I'm such a cruel sod-off. Jared was right, I am colder than they are."

"You're just being bitter, Ozzie. Now, while they're doing their job, how about showing me around Shane?"

OJ smiled and nodded, asking for Gillian's permission to borrow his bike before giving Driz a tour around Shane Metropolis.

What If-Chp4

"Don't you ever get tired looking at that little critter?"

"Nope."

OJ and Gillian were at the U-Chamber again looking out for the foetus. It had pretty much fully developed to the 5th month stage with the head slightly smaller, fingers and toes formed—all 20 of them—and a nice body to match. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it. The evacuation of the cold pills was a success. This time, OJ wasn't alone to handle his assignment. Jared and Driz were there to check out things.

Things were rather rough during that incident with the pills. Turned out that Shane tried to commit suicide after the rape incident and it was obvious that she had found out about her pregnancy to do such a thing. And it also turned out that miracles do happen after all. Somehow after that incident one of the staff in the orphanage—Hal was his name—took pity on her and decided to adopt her himself into his family. He lived in a nice little home down in the suburbs together with a few more adopted kids of his own and, seeing that he had done a good job with them, the orphanage agreed to his decision. It took time for Shane to adjust to her new home and new family, but so far, she's doing very well with her foster brothers and sisters. And while all that was going on, inside Shane Metropolis, Jared made a loud complaint to the chief about OJ letting Driz stay. There was a heated discussion and a lot of yelling between Jared and OJ trying to defend their point, but in the end, the chief was leaning more onto OJ's side, since he believed him of being experienced in handling cold pills as partners and Driz confirmed his allegations about Drix being his twin brother. Not exactly one of the good ways to try and make it straight and friendly with Jared, but OJ had to stand his ground sometimes.

"You continue to play truant like that, I'm afraid I'll have to tell your mom about you," Jared said.

"You wouldn't dare!" Gillian glared at him.

"I would if this goes on."

"Tattletale! Their lessons are just too easy. I get bored easily."

"Just because you're a genius with an IQ level of 180, doesn't mean you can get out of school just like that for all you like. You're gonna both annoy your friends and the teachers."

"Yeah right. Why can't Mother send me to college or something?"

"Woah, did you say his IQ is 180?" OJ asked, surprised.

"Yeah, he inherited that from his dad. He's a scientist up at Muscle Factory," Jared replied half-heartedly, still having this mysterious grudge on him. He then turned to Gillian and said, "Queenie can't send you to collage right now coz money's been tight for a time. Your dad ain't earning much as he needed."

Gillian pouted and turned to look at the foetus. He then smiled and turned to OJ, saying, "Lucky for Shane to meet such a nice family, don't you think? I mean, you don't get this kind of person who is willing to be your dad for free and take care of a baby at the same time."

"Yeah, she's a lucky gal alright," OJ agreed. "I bet she's gonna do OK with that Hal guy."

"Yeah, I bet she's going to do way better than the father she was with, considering the person who handled him," Jared said, giving OJ a sideways glance. OJ was getting sick and tired of being accused for something he wished to let go. He spun round and faced Jared.

"Look, you've griping and complaining and trashing your ass at me ever since I got here. What the heck is your problem? Did I trip you or something, coz I don't remember us ever meeting anywhere else but here."

"You don't have to act all dumbass to me," Jared replied coldly. "You know exactly what you've done and I'm gonna make sure that you're not going to forget it for the rest of your entire miserable life."

"If it's about Frank, I'm sorry, OK? I'm trying to make up for whatever I've done to him and I'm trying to move on here. If you love Frank so much, why don't you give yourself a jumpstart and land on him maybe, then you can fry together with him or something!"

Gillian and Driz looked to and fro from OJ and Jared and back again as the two white blood cells argued their necks off at each other, not sure whether to go up and stop the fight or just stand there looking at them. One was yelling his head off, looking rather pissed while the other was standing there with his cold eyes staring back at him without moving an inch away from his spot. They didn't dare to say it, but they thought that OJ and Jared looked rather slightly alike when they stood together face to face.

"I have no time for this kiddy talk. I just want you to know that you stay out of my back and stay out of my way, and don't you try to act all smartass about yourself with me, coz I ain't buying it."

"You know what, Jared? I think your problem is coz I'm too smart for you. You're jealous coz I'm better than you, and that I'm stealing all the limelight off you. You bet your ass that you're just some street- And while the smart punk trying to prove yourself that you're all that, and you just can't stand someone being better than you, isn't it, you hotshot? I used to be that way, you know, and I can tell a real punk when I see one."

Jared, at that moment, looked rather dark as his face got clouded with anger. He was gritting his teeth as if trying to suppress the boiling anger and the urge of wanting to just rip OJ into tiny pieces. With elaborate steps, he stomped towards OJ and said, "You wanna know what my problem is? You really wanna know what my problem is? The only problem I'm having with you right now is that you're here! It doesn't make it any cooler to see you standing around here coz you're my dad and I'm your son!!!"

Now everyone was dumbstruck. OJ was shocked beyond words. Gillian practically felt like his jaws were falling onto the floor of the bridge they were standing on. Driz was rather caught in the middle and new to everything, so he just stood there seeing what would happen next. After what seemed like a long eternity, OJ finally broke the ice.

"I...I'm your dad...? You're...my...son? What in the name of spit are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't try playing dumbass on me now! Don't tell me that you don't remember hanging out in Frank's 'juicer' and have that dragging feeling, do you?"

"How did you...?" OJ stopped in his tracks when a flashback suddenly hit him. He remembered that, back in high school, he and some of his other close mates were called in by the Mayor to the Penis Plant to go through a splitting process. They were all gathered with other young cells and it was rather crowded in there. He remembered fastening bungee ropes and safety belts on him and was dunked with the rest of his friends into the semen fluid. Then there was a huge tidal wave and deep rumbling that made him feel rather sick in the gut and then there was a huge current flowing over them. The next thing he knew, he felt his whole body being split into two by the current. The process made him kind of dizzy and weak, as if being sapped of his energy, and before he fell into unconsciousness, he thought he saw his double flowing further and further away from him.

"You remember now?" Jared asked bitterly as he came closer to OJ. "The thing all cells have to go through when they are living in a male city? Everyone have to split a part of their entity inside the semen, which means that you've somehow created a son to the next descendant of the city you're living in. This means you have created me. How sweet, the son you never had!"

"I...I thought it was a dream...My parents never bothered to tell me what happened as soon as I woke up in my room..." OJ tried to recall more in detail about the incident he had.

"Very funny, Jones, coz I remember very clearly the day I split from your body. I was just one of those cells that have to hibernate for a rather long, long time since the beginning of Baby Shane before it was my turn to play part of creating this city. Have you ever noticed there were times when the population just suddenly increased by a tiny number when there were no new young baby cells born? That's where all the extra cells come from, Jones, the hibernation period. It's not surprising when I suddenly turn out to be in Queenie's family, coz they knew all along that I was going to break out of the hibernation sooner or later and that they were going to have to take me in and educate me into building and caring for Shane Metropolis. And guess what? I've broke from the hibernation just as soon as Shane had celebrated her 10th birthday. Do you know how it feels to be the shadow of your father? Always have to be expected to be just like your dad, courageous and brave and all that? Huh? Do you?!"

OJ didn't know what to say. He was still trying to absorb the fact that he was actually staring at his son, his own flesh and blood. They were oblivious to the fact that Gillian and Driz were still there listening to every word.

"It makes me sick just to think that I have to follow your footsteps and be like the great cop you are. Yeah right, as if! All the cells that have come out of hibernation were told that the person that created them are all high and mighty and honourable and all that crap, but I ain't buying it. They think I didn't know about the incident where you made Shane humiliated by making Frank puke, but I found out alright. I soon see who you really were and I hated you ever since. The role model didn't seem much of a role model at all now, did he? I hate you, Jones. I hated you before, I hate you now, and I'll be hating you for the rest of my life! I'll never forgive you for making my life a living hell! Never!!!"

"Jared...Jared, I..." OJ tried to say something to make Jared's bitterness go away but Jared pushed him off.

"Don't get all fatherly with me, Jones. I don't want to have anything to do with you and I never wanted to exist in the first place! I wish I was dead or something! I wish you're dead with Frank and every damn cell he's got there! I hate you! Get out of my sight!!"

With that, Jared fished out something from his pocket and threw it at OJ's face before running off without looking back. Gillian called after him and mounted his bike to chase after him. Jared picked up the thing that was thrown at him and realized that it was the official ID he had asked from Mayor Charliehorse. OJ tried to call out for him but he was too far away from earshot. Driz came towards OJ and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"He just needs some time alone. He's been bitter for too long, by the looks of it and I'm sure he needs a little timeout after letting everything go."

"Yeah...and maybe I need some timeout too...Uh...Sorry, Driz, if you don't mind..." OJ didn't know how to put it delicately to Driz who had nothing to do with this predicament.

"Sure," Driz smiled. "I need to check on the rest of the team and see closer on how they're doing with the child anyway."

OJ nodded and watched as Driz disappeared to the other end of the bridge before falling freely onto the wall. He slid slowly to the ground and stared into space as he tried to digest every ounce of reality he had just experienced. He found it hard to believe that Jared who had been the pain in the butt ever since he came into Shane was actually his son. He was filled with mixed feelings inside him. There was anger and betrayal because of his parents never told him about the splitting process; sadness and guilt because he had, in a way, disappointed his son and let him down; happy because he actually had his flesh and blood standing there in front of him ready to be loved and nurtured and taught the real way of life; and so much more other feeling he couldn't even begin to comprehend. It was like being stabbed at the back and finding out who it was at the last few draws of breath.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there and staying hidden, but it was long enough for the rest of his squad to call it the breaks. Driz noticed him still needing some time alone so he decided to take charge of the team. He allowed the shifts to go in and out as scheduled and took over the surveillance. By then, in the outside world, Shane was sleeping peacefully in her room and her clock showed about 12.30 a.m.

Without realizing, OJ slowly got on his feet and stared down at the foetus. He was sleeping rather peacefully inside his mother and was oblivious to anything around him. OJ smirked bitterly at him.

"Sleeping pretty tight now, eh, Junior? I bet you've never faced a problem like knowing that your son's staring at you and hating you in your face and have no idea about it. How would you feel if you just found out that you have a son that is literally living in the body of your city's kid, huh?"

OJ was so engrossed in talking to the foetus that he didn't realize that Driz was coming up to him. He continued pouring his heart out to the foetus who probably wouldn't understand a word he's saying.

"I've screwed up my whole life and I screwed up Frank real bad. I've never done one thing right in my life and now...I can't even make my son proud...What am I supposed to do? Tell me...what am I supposed to do...?"

Somehow, OJ's sad words woke the foetus up because he actually opened up one eye to look at OJ who was going closer to tears. Surprisingly, he held out his tiny little hand (well, which, to cells, are rather big) towards him. They were separated between a thin layer of film, but OJ held out his hand to touch him too. It kinda made OJ smile and feel a little better.

"I don't know why but...I kinda like you hanging around here now. I'm sure gonna miss you once you've left Shane."

"There's always better ways to spend your time."

OJ spun round and realized that Driz has been behind him. He quickly but secretly brushed off whatever tears he had in his eyes and stammered, "Uh...Uh...Hey...I-I-I, uh, I didn't know y-y-you're right behind me...heh heh..."

"Are you always pouring your heart out to strangers?" Driz asked.

"Well...uh, no, but it kinda breaks the bad inside and..."

OJ's words were cut short when, out of the blue, a pair of lips claimed his. It lasted about 5 seconds or so and when OJ got back to his senses, he realized that Driz actually kissed him.

"Feel any better now?" Driz smiled nonchalantly, like that kiss just now was something right to do.

"Driz...? What...the...fuck did you just do to me??" OJ finally found his voice.

"I was just trying to make you feel better."

"By kissing me?! Do you realize that you're a friggin' fag?! How could you do this to me?! That's gross, man!!"

"Don't try to hide it, Ozzie," Driz smirked, grabbing OJ with the arm that held the cannon and pressing him close to his chest. "I know you want it."

"Want what? Let go of me, you fag!" OJ struggled to break free from Driz but Driz's grip was much stronger.

"I noticed the way you look at me. I know I look a lot like my brother Drix and I'm reminding you of him, am I not?"

"Funny Drix didn't mention anything about you," OJ muttered to himself, then breathed in sharply when Driz pressed him closer.

"Well, we have different ideas on how to cure cities and we never exactly get along. Same bodies, different minds, see? I can assure you, I am myself. I am not like my old-fashioned twin brother."

"Where exactly are you getting here, Driz?"

"I'm saying that I think you're attracted to me," Driz replied coolly as he gripped OJ's crotch with his free hand. OJ gasped and felt his face flushed, almost to near choking.

"What...What do you mean...?"

"I know you're attracted to me. Stop pretending. Stop denying yourself. I noticed the way you looked at me the first day we met. When I heard about you mentioning Drix, I understand clearly why that weird look. You're feeling guilty about letting my brother die, and that guilt turned to a fascination, and then into attraction. You're attracted to me, aren't you? Admit it."

"That's...not...true..."

"I know you want me. I can tell. You may not show it but I know you do. You never got to do it with my brother and now you're channeling them all to me. I understand, Ozzie, and I'm here for you."

"You're...You're crazy...man..." OJ breathed his words.

"I know," Driz nodded, loosening his grip on OJ. "I know I'm rushing things. It'll get better, I promise."

With that, he took OJ's chin and kissed him deeply again. OJ tried to beat him away, but something inside him made him go weak all over and made him absorbed into this tongue-fondling, lip-caressing kiss. He limped and let Driz do all the work into making him a sappy jelly. When they were done, OJ fell onto his knees and gasped, because he actually kinda forgot how to breathe for a minute there.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Ozzie," Driz said, planting a last kiss on OJ's forehead.

Again, OJ was left alone on the bridge, staring into space, but this time the only thing that lingered in his mind: Am I really feeling whatever he just said?

What If-Chp2

"Have a seat, Mr. Jones. Make yourself at home."

OJ looked around at this seemingly big apartment. It seemed perfectly decent for a family to live in, and he hoped that there's room for one more person. After meeting up with Gillian, he told the little muscle cell about the ID and about the horrible attitude Jared's been giving him. Gillian grinned and waved away his complaints and offered to take him into his home. Once inside the living room, he was given a warm welcome by Queenie Monoxide Tricep, Gillian's mother.

"He may look and speak that way, but inside he's a very nice young man," Queenie said as she served him something to drink. "Don't mind my brother. He's always been like that ever since he joined our family."

"Cousin Jared is an adopted cell in his family," Gillian said. "No one really knows where he came from and he doesn't have a clue either. He just so happened to be my uncle's—my mom's brother—home one day and that's it."

"He's adopted? I didn't expect that. No wonder he's so cranky," OJ said. "He ain't so nice like a pretty cell like you."

"Oh, stop," Queenie giggled. "He's been bitter almost about everything and anything. It's like there's something in his life he wishes to forget but just couldn't let go. He'll be OK. There's nothing time can't heal. Just try to get along with my nephew. You might just like him."

"Yeah, I hope," OJ muttered doubtfully to himself.

“Looks good on you, Jones. You wear it well!...He’s burning up! We need to cool his body down!...while I bring down Frank's little girl...!”

"NO!!!!"

OJ was shaken awake by the same nightmare. He looked around, dazed, as if he was still in his nightmare and not in the reality world. After making sure where he was, he heaved a sigh of relief and plopped his head back onto the pillow. He muttered "Nightmare" to himself before realizing that he was all alone in the house. Everyone was gone out to do their daily jobs. And speaking of daily jobs, since he was going to be part of Shane Metropolis, he might as well make himself useful.

After making his bed, he went out and walked all the way to look for a job. He knew he had to start somewhere and that somewhere has got to be something to do with his experience. Needless to see, he wants to go back into the immunity force business. But things didn't turn out his way as when he approached Jared for work (as much as he loathed meeting him, he was the only one he knew in the SPD), Jared obviously said no.

"We have enough people in this force," Jared said coldly. "We don't need anymore of you guys."

"Hey, we all want Shane to be nice and comfy and in tip-top shape, right? So why risk having fewer members when you can have another extra hand?" OJ tried to persuade him but Jared was adamant.

"We don't need you, so get out of here."

"Jared! It's not your say whether he's qualified to work here or not. Stop being so bitter."

OJ and Jared turned around to see Queenie with her hands on her hips, scowling at Jared. She then gave OJ a smile and led him to the superior's office. OJ gave him a Serves-you-right before following her behind. After hearing about his predicament and where he came from (and also checking his badge for conformation—always the formal stuff first), the superior gladly accepted him into the team. He was introduced to the rest of the SPD force and was gladly welcomed into the team, unfortunately for Jared.

"Guess that makes us colleagues now, huh?" OJ grinned and held out his hands good-naturedly. Jared stared at the hand for a while before he looked away with a huff.

"Don't mind my nephew," Queenie said as she lay a hand on OJ. "He's always been like this. You'll get used to it."

"I was wondering," OJ glared at the disappearing Jared for a while before turning to Queenie. "Since Frank is...well...gone, where does this lead Shane to?"

"From what I've heard, after Frank died, Shane was taken into custody by Uncle Bob. But soon the children services think that Uncle Bob was not fit to be a parent since he was such a sorry excuse for a family anyway, so she was taken into a foster home instead. She's waiting to be adopted though."

"Thank Frank! I would never let my kid be in the likes of Bob if she were my kid!"

Queenie chuckled. But her chuckle was cut short by a sudden rumble in the ground they're standing. Everyone was taken aback by it. After about 10 minutes later, the tremors stopped.

"What the hell happened?? She got herself some gas or something?!" OJ exclaimed.

"Mother! Mother!" Gillian was seen exclaiming as he ran into the SPD with his bag on his back. "Something wild is going on down there!"

"Gill! Aren't you supposed to be in school or something?" Queenie asked, surprised and annoyed but Gillian waved it away, taking OJ's hand.

"Come on, Jones! It's really cool! There's something cool going down at the U-Chamber! You gotta go watch!"

"The U-Chamber?" OJ asked as he was dragged towards the bike. "What the heck is a U-Chamber?"

But Gillian didn't have time to answer his question. He cranked up the bike and was on his way towards wherever he wanted to show OJ. Queenie came out of the SPD and yelled after her son, "Gill, when you come back home, you are so grounded!!!"

They've reached the place Gillian was talking about not a minute too late. As OJ removed the helemt and looked around, he finally understood what the U-Chamber was. They were standing on a overhead bridge that was leaning really, really close to ours truly Shane's uterus. OJ grimaced at the sight. A lot of people were present there and they seemed very excited about something happening below there. Jared was there, too, to check out the situation but OJ had no time to argue with him.

"Damn it, Gill! You seriously are a mad little kid! You took me into Shane's neeno, man! Didn't your mama ever told you that's bad to barge into a lady's privacy?!"

"Shush, Jones, look!" Gillian said as he pointed towards the uterus. OJ looked down and saw, in horror, that it was a huge swarm of sperms gathering around an egg cell. OJ was shocked. It can't be! Shane is too young! She can't be having kids right now! She can't have any kids at this age! What's going on here?!

"What the hell is happening here? What's all these...?"

"It's Shane," Jared said nonchalantly. "She's being attacked."

"Attacked? What do you mean she's being attacked?" OJ asked, fearing to hear what he might know.

"It means she's being raped," Jared rolled his eyes without a care. "We received news that she was being attacked by one of the older boys in the orphanage. Still, having a new life is often celebrated in every female body cells live in and this is considered a great event."

"A big event?? She's only 1/4 of Frank's age and she's gonna go mommy if this goes on!"

"Come on, Jones," Gillian said, nearing towards the brink of the bridge. "This is a great event! Shane is getting pregnant! We're gonna be part of creating a new life. This is so cool!"

This wasn't cool. This was terrible! He had to stop this! He had seen movies through Frank's Eye Auditorium about young girls getting pregnant and have their lives ruined forever, and he was sure that this life is not going to be like the movies where a handsome guy is going to pop up and help the girl go through her life in one piece and then fall in love and get married. This was reality and it's harsh. He had to put a stop to this. OJ wanted to climb over the bridge and go down to stop it but felt a hard tug on his hand by Jared. He tried to pry his hand away from him but it seemed that Jared was stronger on the grip than he imagined. He put up with a struggle.

"Let me go, damn it! I gotta stop this!"

"It's human nature," Jared replied coldly, tightening his grip on him. "Let it take its course. It's up to Shane whether she wants to deal with it or not."

"She's too young, man! She ain't fit to be a mother! She got her whole life ahead of her. It ain't fair for her to live like this! Let me go!!! I gotta stop those tadpoles from getting in..."

Too late. A huge electrical blast happened and the U-Chamber was brightly lit for a second or two. The insemination was complete. One of the sperms had made its way into the egg. OJ stared in horror as the egg started to form and split from two, then to four, then more. It's in, he thought. It's inside her. She's gonna have a kid and I wasn't there to stop it...It's going to ruin her life...I should've stopped it...I should've...

He slowly slipped into unconsciousness with all the pressure he was feeling, failing to realize that Jared had caught him before his face hit the ground...

What If-Chp1

Started & Completed: 11-06-04

WHAT IF…

“This is not good. This is so not good.”

OJ was still hanging onto the strip of glue that was dangling just above Shane’s real eyelashes. The nurses were taking the crying Shane further and further away from the ward and slowly out into the waiting room where his Uncle Bob stood waiting outside. Shane struggled and cried in Uncle Bob’s arms, demanding to be brought back into the ward to see her dad, and OJ was trying not to fall off onto the solid floor below and break into pieces. She was making a loud racket in the hospital and the attendants have no choice but to call the nurses to sedate her. OJ could see the nurses coming in with a syringe and Uncle Bob held out her arm to let the nurse inject her with a sedative.

“No! No, no, no! Don’t do that, man! I need to get back to Frank! Don’t inject her with no morphine or anything, come on!”

Too late. He could see the needle of the syringe stuck into Shane’s arm and Shane slowly fading away into unconsciousness. Her body began to slump to the floor and one o the attendants caught her just in time and carried her into an empty ward to sleep. OJ struggled hard to keep his hold on the strip of glue above her eyelash.

“Damn! Damn, damn, damn! Why do they always have to do that? Frank is gonna be toast in there and I have his hypothalamus here!” OJ complained as he strained to climb up to Shane’s eyelid. While he was figuring out how he was going to return to Frank’s body, he heard the doctor talking to Uncle Bob.

“I’m sorry, sir. His body temperature went up too high too fast. We couldn’t save him in time.”

“You mean…You mean…Frank’s…dead…?”

“I’m very sorry.”

“Oh no, what am I going to tell Shane?”

Dead? Dead? Frank can’t be dead! He was so close! So close into saving Frank! He almost went through oblivion just to defeat Thrax and get back that bracelet and now he’s dead?! ‘This is a nightmare!’ he thought. ‘This is a serious, serious nightmare! This is the worst nightmare in the whole reality! Could it mean that Drix…and…and Leah are…’

He stared at the bracelet that was wrapped around his wrist. The bracelet that contained Frank’s hypothalamus DNA he had fought with his life for. Now that he had got it, he was too late to save him. He was too late to go back to Frank’s body and get the hypothalamus DNA into Frank’s system. He was too late to save his partner, his chief, his love…

Throwing the bracelet as far away as possible, he let out a scream of defeat and agony.

“Looks good on you, Jones. You wear it well!”

OJ choked as he felt the wrath of the bracelet around his neck. Struggling to breathe, he fought with all his might to try and free himself from being strangled to death and trying to figure out how he was going to get the bracelet under his possession to save Frank from being a human torch.

“He’s burning up! We need to cool his body down!”

OJ finally got the bracelet. He watched as Thrax disintegrated into that weird chemical he had fallen into. He was getting ready to find a way to get to Frank when the whole nightmare began again: Shane taken further and further away from the emergency ward and was injected with the sedative. The worst thing was he saw Frank's body started to burst into flames and those flames formed the shape of Thrax's head. He could hear him laughing menacingly in victory at OJ...

OJ scared himself awake. He looked around him and was relieved to see no Thrax, no fire, no dangers ahead, nothing. He was safe. Safe from Thrax's clutches and safe from everything he had tried to fight for.

OJ quickly crawled further out of sight when he heard footsteps and people talking. He stole a peek and noticed that there were a few red blood cells—a couple, actually—standing near the eye watching the view before them, talking sweet nothings to each other. It dawned to OJ that after he had let out his scream of rage and defeat, he suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of fatigue and had staggered absentmindedly into Shane's eye and inside her body until he found a spot to lie down. He had blacked out soon after and didn't wake up until that nightmare did the honours for him.

Looking at the couple, he was slowly reminded of him and Leah. Leah had always played the hard-to-get type and had always said that OJ wasn't her type. He knew he was the kind that was all talk and all show-off and everything, but that's the only way he could express himself in front of Leah. Talking sweet lovie-dovies and romantic fluff was definitely not his style. But he did, however did something quite romantic later on—the kiss he gave Leah before he blasted himself out of Frank's body was still fresh in his mind. This was the first time he had ever been so direct to Leah without using any fancy words.

And his last time.

The couple stay there for a moment or so before moving to some place else. OJ sighed in relief. He sure didn't want to be found; not under these circumstances. He felt bitter and his heart ached at the thought that he had failed Frank and had killed everyone he cared about inside Frank. He was never going to see Drix, his best partner he ever had; the Chief whom he looked up to like a second father; and most importantly Leah, his one and only true love. He didn't think he would ever be able to get over the guilt. Not ever.

He was about to decide that he was going to stay in this corner he's hiding for the rest of his life wallowing in self-pity when a pair of raven-black eyes stared widely at him. OJ was shocked and almost wanted to shout in horror when he realized that the eyes that were staring at him belonged to a young muscle cell. OJ calmed down a little.

"Hey, kid. What are you doing here?"

The muscle cell didn't reply. He continued to stare at OJ with interest, like he was some kind of a new cell.

"Go away, kid. Leave me alone. There ain't nothing to see here. Go home to your mommy or something."

"What are you doing here?" the little muscle cell asked.

"None of your business, kid. Go bother someone else."

"Are you a virus?"

"Do I look like something contagious to you, kid?" OJ exclaimed, feeling offended. "Of course not! I am Osmosis Jones, a white blood cell! I work in the immunity force and bust virus, not become one! Who are you anyway? What are you doing here?"

"I'm Gillian. Gillian Tricep," Gillian replied. "Why are you hiding here? Don't you wanna come out or something?"

"No. I'm just gonna sit here and die," OJ said bitterly. "Go away and leave me alone."

"You wanna get something to eat? You look hungry/"

OJ stared long and hard at Gillian. 'This kid sure is persistent,' he thought. 'I'll just let him do whatever he wants and sneak off.'

"A plasma donut would be nice," he finally muttered.

"One plasma donut coming right up!" Gillian smiled.

OJ stared on as Gillian bounded off to look for the donut stand. As soon as he was out of sight, OJ got up and got ready to split but his legs went weak all of a sudden. He couldn't move more than an inch without toppling down to the floor. 'What's happening to me?' he thought in horror. 'Is my body rejecting Shane's body mechanism? It can't be! Frank's kid is also part of Frank! What can it..?'

"Here ya go, Mr. Jones. I've got 5 plasma donuts for ya, in case you're really hungry."

At the words 'plasma donuts', OJ immediately turned to the little muscle cell and almost snatched the bag away from his hand. Gillian wasn't the least bit offended. In fact he was glad and quite proud as he watched OJ gobbling the donuts hungrily. After he finished every last crumb, it struck OJ that he was actually too hungry to move. There was nothing else wrong with him. Soon he realized that he's been watched the entire time he was eating.

"Hey, uh...Thanks, kid."

"No prob," Gillian grinned. "Need anything else?"

"Yeah, I suppose," OJ admitted sheepishly, scratching his chin. "You know any place where I can...you know, find out where exactly am I?"

"Well, you're in the Eye Auditorium of Shane Metropolis. If you wanna know more about this place, you can go see my Mom."

"Your Mom?"

"Yeah. She works at the SPD, the Shane Police Department. It's quite small, but it'll get bigger soon. She knows every inch of Shane Metropolis and I bet you can get some answers right away. Oh, no, wait. She might be on a mission right now. Maybe you can go meet my cousin instead. He’s more often in the PD than outside. Anything else you wanna eat? My treat."

Soon OJ could be seen munching more donuts and drinking lymph coke as he followed Gillian down towards Shane Metropolis on Gillian's motorbike. It wasn't much of a surprise for OJ to see young Gillian having a motorbike, but it sure surprised him to see Gillian driving it better than any other grown cell combined. The first motorbike he ever had was a quite rundown secondhand bike when he was 12 and yet he didn't stop wobbling from the bike until he was 14.

"How old exactly are you, kid?" OJ asked, curious.

"8 years old this year," Gillian replied.

"You drive like a pro, man. How did you do that?"

"Learned it from my cousin. He's also in the SPD immunity force."

"You sure have loads of relations in the force, don't ya?" OJ commented. When Gillian nodded and made a swerve to the left, avoiding a waste truck, OJ asked again, "I thought only white blood cells are qualified to enter the immunity force. You're a muscle cell. How can you have family from the whites?"

"I know that," Gillian replied, pouting. "Everyone says that. Just because my mother married a muscle cell doesn't mean that a muscle cell cannot be related to a white blood cell. It's not like it's a crime..."

"Woah, woah, woah, wait! Wait just a microscopic minute here! Your mother, a white blood cell, married a muscle cell?"

"Yeah, so?" Gillian turned around and snapped. "You got a problem with that?"

"Hey, chill out, man!" OJ held up one hand in surrender. "Don't get so worked up. It's just that it's something new for me to hear a white blood cell and a muscle cell being a couple."

"Just keep yourself to yourself," Gillian muttered before saying out loud. "Here we are, Mr. Jones. Shane Metropolis."

OJ looked up and saw what Gillian meant. Right in front of the city entrance bore a huge signboard writing in bold: SHANE METROPOLIS - Population: 2,900,000,000,000 billion. Shane Metorpolis wasn't really as big as Downtown Frank, but it sure was more advanced than Frank. Everything was slightly similar to Downtown Frank, yet there was a slight modification in every part of the building and structure, making it look futuristic and new. OJ was impressed.

"Woah! Now that's what I call the future generation. This Shane kid literally is the future generation of Frank."

"And much cleaner too, since she eats cleaner, healthier food. We're very proud of Shane Metropolis. There's SPD up ahead."

OJ turned to where Gillian was looking and SPD just ahead. It looked no different than FPD in Frank, only that it looked more hi-tech, just like the rest of the town of Shane Metropolis. Gillian got off the motorbike and gestured OJ to do the same. As he continued to survey the place, Gillian took hold of his hand tightly and waved valiantly at someone who was standing in front of one of the white blood cells' desk, yelling, "Hey, Jared!! Hey, Cousin Jared!!!"

The white blood cell called Jared turned around. OJ couldn't help feeling that this Jared seemed familiar. He had on a pair of shades and when he took it down, it revealed a pair of deep set black eyes. He had a tuft of front hair almost like OJ and he had that naughty aura in him. But when he took the shades entirely and turned directly towards his cousin Gillian, he noticed that he had the naughty aura all wrong--he's as serious as someone fresh from military school.

"That's your cousin? The one who taught you how to ride that bike?" OJ whispered.

"You got it," Gillian replied before smiling widely at Jared.

"Yeah, Gill. What is it this time?" Jared asked.

"I found someone here in the Eye Auditorium. He said he was from Frank," Gillian said as he pointed at OJ standing behind him.

"Yo there," OJ tried to sound as friendly as possible. "Sorry for the bother, but I really am pretty much in a bad fix here."

Jared stared at OJ and moved his gaze, scrutinizing OJ from top to bottom. He had an air of pride, like OJ was an insignificant being before him. OJ challenged back—annoyed at this kind of treatment—by staring back at him with the What's-your-problem kind of look. Obviously, Jared was unperturbed.

"Right, follow me. I know just the person who can help you," Jared said as he turned around, gesturing him to follow him yet show no signs of looking back to see if he was being followed. OJ was getting more and more annoyed by this arrogant attitude by the minute. Nevertheless, he reminded himself that he was a foreigner here and should watch out his every move. He tried to strike up a conversation with him as he rode the young cop's car.

"Say, uh, Jared, right? So, uh, who are we gonna meet? Who's this guy whose gonna get me outta this jam?"

"Mayor Charliehorse, as you may call him," Jared replied, sounding very business-like. "He's pretty much the brains of this outfit. He's the one who's been giving Shane great ideas to eat right and all that so that we could all live in a clean and healthy town."

"Yeah, I bet he's a real swell guy. He's able to make her cool but he did nothing to give Shane ideas about helping Frank," OJ muttered a little too near of Jared's earshot. Jared looked at him in a cold way.

"Well, you wouldn't be in this place if your Frank had listened to her now, would you?"

OJ was about to protest when the car screeched into a sudden halt. Judging by the height of the building they stopped in front of, OJ could expect that he had been taken to the Mayor's HQ. As usual, it looked like an advanced version of Frank's. It seemed as if Frank was everywhere before his eyes no matter how he tries to forget about it, only that it's slightly different in terms of civilization. He followed Jared quietly up to the Mayor's office, not wanting to fuss anymore with childish, fruitless attempts to be friends with him. In the office, Jared was greeted warmly by Mayor Charliehorse and was told about OJ's predicament (you can guess what a Charlie horse is). The Mayor looked impressed as he shook OJ's hand, seemingly glad to see someone who came from the creator of Shane. Jared didn't seem too pleased but he hid it quickly before OJ noticed it.

"I can't issue you an ID immediately, but," Mayor Charliehorse said as he took out a piece of paper from his shelf and signed it, "I can give this temporary ID so that you can move around this city freely. Carry it around with you at all times and I'll notify Jared if your permanent ID is complete. Enjoy life in Shane Metropolis."

OJ took the temporary ID and looked at it skeptically. He doubted that this piece of paper was going to hold his citizenship together just yet. But then again, better safe than sorry. He thanked Mayor Charliehorse and pocketed the ID before following behind Jared. As they took the lift down the building, Jared voiced out icily, "You sure made a good impression on the Mayor now, didn't you?"

"What do you mean by that?" OJ asked, a little offended.

"I expected something bizarre or anything, but this sure cuts the cake."

"What the hell are you trying to say exactly, Jared?"

"There's something you should know," Jared said as soon as the lift stopped and the door opened. "You are not going to get the best of me. That means you gotta find your own home, your own friends, your own life. That's final. We have no strings attached whatsoever. I'll get you your ID, and after that, you're on your own."

With that, he rode on his car and drove off, leaving a dazed OJ alone standing in front of the Mayor's HQ. He didn't even bother to ask if he needed a ride. When OJ got back to his senses, the car was long gone and he was stranded in the middle of nowhere.

"What's his problem...?" OJ muttered as he slowly made his own way towards the SPD where Gillian was waiting.