Pain is not an Option-Chp 3

“Ne, Watanuki-kun. Why isn’t Doumeki-kun with you?”

Watanuki had expected this question to come out of Himawari’s mouth. In truth, he had been trying to avoid the archer all day, and he was rather relieved to be able to survive the day till recess without any confrontation. He almost couldn’t sleep last night because of the aches and pains on his body despite the fact that Maru and Moru had helped applied medication on his sores. He could only lie on his back to prevent from traumatizing the bruises on his body and wound he sustained due to the virginity break of his butt yesterday evening. He dreaded going to school for fear of meeting Doumeki and bringing back those painful memories, but he had to go. He had been absent for almost a week last week after getting bruised and battered from a hectic case of helping Yuuko do an exorcism on a kid who had been messing around with Ouija games. He couldn’t afford to put anymore bad merits on his school attendance.

“Ah, anno, I can’t say. I haven’t seen him the whole day,” Watanuki forced a smile to convince the girl that nothing was out of the ordinary. His face ached just doing that.

“You didn’t even make bento for him,” Himawari said as she eyed at the single half-eaten bento in Watanuki’s hand. It was obvious that she had expected him to have an extra bento on his lap or by his side.

“Ah, hai, I, uh, kinda forgot. Ah ha ha…I guess I had a late night last night, what with Yuuko-san and all…”

“Did something happen between you and Doumeki? Have you had an argument?”

Watanuki was at lost of words. How could he tell her that he had been raped by the guy she had admired more than she did him? How could he explain it to her that it was Doumeki’s fault he’s in a mess right now? How could he even mention the incident that led to this unwanted desire…

Desire…?

Why would he even desire for Doumeki to take him? How could he even have that kind of thought cross his mind? Doumeki raped him, for goodness sake! He pinned him down, tore off his clothes and raped him of his virginity! He had dirtied him both body and soul! How could he even desire this sort of outrage? Has he gone mad? Had the trauma he had sustained yesterday evening got into his mind and messed up his brains? He couldn’t have wanted it, could it?

Pain is not an option. It’s how you deal with it that’s important.

“Ah, speak of the devil.”

Watanuki’s head shot up to see what Himawari was talking about. There, coming closer towards them is the guy that he had been avoiding all day. The guy that he thought he had trusted. The guy he thought would not harm a fly even if he wanted to. The guy whom he thought had no emotions at all whatsoever. The guy who suddenly showed his true colours and scared the pants out of him. The guy who had almost punched the lights out of him and made his harsh intrusion into him. The guy who practically left him for dead and didn’t bother to apologize or explain his actions.

Doumeki Shizuka.

“Ohayo, Doumeki-kun. We were wondering where you were the whole day,” Himawari greeted cheerfully as the archer made his way to sit on the grass under the tree they were under, sandwiching Watanuki between him and her.

“Aah,” Doumeki replied in his usual I-don’t-give-a-damn way. His eyes shifted towards Watanuki who was staring intently at his half-eaten bento. The blue-eyed boy didn’t seem to want to make any eye contact with him. In fact, tiny beads of cold sweat and a slight hint of shivering could be seen on Watanuki, his eyes showering a great deal of fear at Doumeki’s presence.

“Anno, doushite, Watanuki-kun? Daijobu deska?” Himawari asked worriedly as she noticed Watanuki’s sudden change of mood.

“B…Betsuni…” Watanuki replied, his voice betraying him.

“You didn’t make me bento today.”

Watanuki stood up abruptly as he saw Doumeki’s hand reach over to take a piece of tamagoyaki from his bento, dropping the lot onto the grass for ants to pick on. He didn’t hear Himawari’s worried and confused ‘Doushite, Watanuki-kun?’ question. Everything around him seemed to blur and fade out of existence as he watched in terror at Doumeki looking at him with eyes that could hide his deepest, darkest secrets even from the most powerful psychics and mind-readers. He knew those were not his real eyes. The emotion beneath those eyes was all too vivid, too scary, and too horrifying to imagine. He knew that beneath the stone façade, there laid a beast sitting on a ticking time bomb waiting for the right moment to burst out from its prison and overtake the body, and when it’s released, nothing in the world could ever hold it back. He had experienced firsthand on how the beast showed its fury.

Without a word, he took off, leaving Doumeki and Himawari behind. Himawari tried to call after him but he paid no heed. There was nothing in the world that could keep him from running away from the archer and his upcoming fury. Facing a thousand spirits following his tail was much more of a comfort than this.

He had to get away from him.

Fast.