Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Warlock & The Choir Kids-Chp Finale


The villagers of Kaisen Mura were awake. Ghastly sounds from the forest had invaded their dreams and they were gathered in the street, bewildered and afraid.

“Look there!” Akasa said as two shadows limped over the brow of the hill.

When the two boys hobbled into the lamplight, they were so bedraggled and covered with blood and wounds, they could scarcely be recognized. But Kogoro Mouri exclaimed, “Why, it’s Shinichi and Heiji. You brave boys! You have brought us Choir Kids!”

“You didn’t…kill them, did you?” Megure asked tentatively. Shinichi and Heiji shook their heads weakly before their knees gave way. A few other villagers caught them just in time before their faces hit the ground.

The blacksmith and the carpenter took the two little children—almost like dolls in their arms—and placed them in the arms of the sleeping Ran and Kazuha, while Shounen Kid gathered the boys into his arms and to his home up the hills. But even after he had rubbed ointment into their wounds and fed them nourishments, they would not rest.

“Oi, oi,” Shounen Kid said as he pushed them all back on their beds. “Where do you think you two bakasaru-s are going?”

“We must keep watch,” Shinichi said. “There’s no telling when those warlocks are coming back to life.”

“Hello! I heard you guys practically like bombarded those warlocks with dozens of utensils from your workshop. They sure are useful as well as lethal. I bet they’re already mush by now!”

“Ie, we’re not taking any chances.” Heiji agreed as he got off the bed. “We have to stand guard. We must…”

“Hold you horses, lover boys. You’re not going anywhere until your wounds are cured. Now be good boys and lie down.”

Shounen Kid’s stern voice forced them to oblige, but as soon as Shounen Kid fell asleep, they sneaked out of their beds and out of his home back down the hill towards Kaisen Mura. They went to sit on the rooftop of their resting hut under the stars, keeping watch and a lookout for any signs of the warlocks’ return. There is no telling what mighty powers they might possess, and who knows, they might even have the power to rejuvenate themselves. They fear not only for their little misses, but also for the village.

“That was really bad fight we’ve just been through,” Shinichi commented. “I never thought I would’ve lived through this if it weren’t for you.”

“Well, I can’t take all the credit,” Heiji said. “I gotta admit, Conan, that thing with the iron mallet, really packs a punch. That was a real killer.”

“What can I say? Kogoro-sama always insisted on the best materials and the best equipment. You were pretty good with the chisel and all though. I never knew that even nails could kill.”

“It’s enough to even drill a hole through your palm, what else do you think it can do?”

“Ouch!” Shinichi winced, imagining the nails going through his hands.

As they continued to stare into the horizon and keep watch for any false moves, it was Heiji’s turn to stare at Shinichi. He blushed slightly as he watched him staring solemnly out there with his inquisitive, wary eyes, always on the lookout for the wellbeing of everyone. Shinichi has always been this way. He was always serious about taking care of other people’s benefits and safety and his loyalty towards the blacksmith’s family was incredible. There were times when Ran got mad at him and did a karate-chop on him or even used him as a punching bag whenever she’s in a bad mood. There were other times when Kogoro yelled and complained about his help, questioning about his ability in the art of blacksmith, and often on the lookout to see if he were harassing or close to his daughter in any way, but still Shinichi remained with them. Any other normal guys would’ve just split. Not Shinichi.

“Conan,” Heiji said as he inched his hand closer towards Shinichi’s unaware one. “I was thinking…what did Shounen Kid meant by calling us ‘lover boys’?”

Shinichi was knocked out of his solemn trance for a moment, blushing slightly before replying, “I dunno. Doushite?”

“I think you know. I think we all know what he meant, and I, for one, am not going to pretend about that.”

With that, he reached out and grasped Shinichi’s hand tight. Shinichi stared at Heiji’s sun-kissed skin on his hand and blushed even redder. He knew from the beginning what Shounen Kid meant about what Heiji just said. His crush for Ran never existed. Come to think of it, it’s all about loyalty. There’s nothing to do with his true feelings for Ran. Ran was just his little miss he had to serve. That’s all there is to it. Nothing else. His true crush is just right there, right in front of his eyes, and there’s no way anything else could compare that.

Needless to say, their lips met, engulfing themselves in a deep, passionate kiss. They did not part until they heard the cries of joy in the houses beneath them as Kazuha and Ran woke up.

“They are safe!” Shinichi sighed.

“Sugoi!” Heiji said. “Let’s go check them out.”

What a fuss the girls made of their two wounded heroes. There was so much cuddling and kissing, hugging and thanking, Shinichi and Heiji practically felt suffocated with all the attention. Kogoro and Akasa were so grateful that they were willing to let their daughters marry Shinichi and Heiji, but they declined their nice offer. For them, it’s enough to be just together.

“It’s a strange thing,” Kogoro remarked, “but the children we put in Ran’s embrace had disappeared by this morning.”

“So had ours,” Akasa replied.

Shinichi and Heiji looked toward the hill and thought of the dark forest beyond. The Choir Kids would be welcoming their King and Queen. For surely in dying for a child those two good children had regained their lives. And they hoped that Genta the Guardian would also regain life for sacrificing for his royal master and mistress.

The three warlocks were never seen again, and whenever the people of Kaisen Mura mentioned them, a little anxiously, at dusk or at the onset of a storm, Shounen Kid would say, “You’re quite safe, you know, with Shinichi and Heiji here.”

And Shinichi and Heiji would grin at each other playfully and lift their proud heads high, and parade together down the street hand in hand, with their loving eyes locked into each other. And no one who saw them ever doubted that they were the bravest shounen-s in all Hokkaido.

The Warlock & The Choir Kids-Chp4


A thin pine yawned over the warlocks' wrinkled roof and when the boys reached the house, they skimmed up to a branch beside the peephole window.

Peering into the room, they saw a round table with a tall candle in the center. The flames guttered in a draft that blew down the chimney, and strange shadows danced across the walls. Now the boys could see the warlocks; their hoods were down and their long hair straggled on their bony shoulders (except the fat one). Their faces were gray, their eyes were green and they wore dreadful glinting, sharp-toothed smiles. The warlocks reeled around the room, and as they did so, their features began to change and the dark flying shapes were pierced with glittering eyes, flashing teeth and knife-edged silver claws.

All at once and with a deafening shriek the dancing ended. The warlocks seemed to have vanished, and in their place three black wolves paced around the room. They polished their whiskers and sharpened their claws, then snapping at shadows, they ran out of the door.

"We must follow, hayai!" Shinichi whispered.

"At a distance," Heiji said. "If they see us, we will never solve this mystery."

Silent and skillful, Shinichi and Heiji climbed out of the tree. The three black wolves were heading toward the forest on the other side of the hill. Even the men from Kaisen Mura seldom hunted there, for it was literally wolves' and bears' territory and a dark and dangerous place. Not only that, there were even rumours about the mythical kurama lurking around to trick and bait people into their trap. But the two boys, thinking only of Ran and Kazuha, moved soundlessly after the warlocks.

As they drew near to the forest, sweet music issued from the trees and the two boys began to falter. They sat back on their haunches, their heads spinning and looked at each other in dismay.

"The Choir Kids," Heiji breathed. "We are lost, Conan. I am falling asleep."

Frosty moonlight spilled onto the hill and the cobwebs that festooned the bracken glittered like strands of diamonds. Shinichi glanced drowsily at Heiji and sweeping at the cobwebs, he thrust a handful deep into each ear. Without a word Heiji did the same. Deaf now to the bewitching song, they sped down the hill, anxious not to lose sight of the warlocks. When they reached the trees, however, the three black wolves had vanished.

"Now where the heck can they be?" Shinichi muttered, forgetting the fact that Heiji couldn't hear him. He stared at Heiji who was scouting the area to see where they could've possibly gone to and couldn't help feeling a heartthrob beating through his chest. He had never felt like this towards Heiji before. It felt…different. It felt almost like the way he crushed on Ran, but slightly deeper. It was like…as if…as if he was…

'Baka! That couldn't be it!' Shinichi denied. 'I can't be in love with Heiji! He's my best friend! Besides, I like Ran-sama! My heart is for Ran-sama, not for…I'm a straight person now…am I?'

Heiji realized that he was being stared at and turned to Shinichi, which Shinichi quickly looked away, blushing red. Finally, deciding to trust in their sixth sense, Shinichi and Heiji entered the forest. Ancient trees grinned and threatened, tangled roots caught and tripped their feet; and branches cut through their already healed skin, but the proud boys pressed on until they found themselves on the fringe of a glade lit by flames. The three black wolves were circling a fire, and their smiles were so wild and wicked that Shinichi and Heiji almost turned back at the sight of them. But as their eyes became accustomed to the fierce light, they saw small figures dressed in white moving beneath the trees, and they knew they had found the Choir Kids.

Shinichi and Heiji leapt into a tree just as the black wolves ceased their wild walk. They faced the crowd of little children, and one of the wolves, the one with a streak of golden brown across his head, stepped forward.

The children stared up at her fearfully, and Shinichi and Heiji swept the cobwebs out of their ears. They couldn't believe their eyes: the Choir Kids were literally children no older than 7, and they were all dressed in white clothes from head to toe, with a pair of silver fairy-like wings that glittered under the fire. All of them had strawberry-blonde hair and matching blue eyes and looked like little angels standing before three huge demons. The glade was silent; a warlock was about to speak.

"Children," he said. "You have pleased us. You have punished the blacksmith and the carpenter, but it is not enough. Today the weaver refused me. He has a baby. You must sing it to sleep and club it. If you do not, you know what will happen!" And he raised a paw that glittered with razor-sharp claws.

Out of the crowd crept three children. Two of them were slightly different than the rest of the crowd. They have silver blonde hair and silver eyes, with wings of gold and glittered more magnificent than the other Choir Kids and they had tiny crowns above their heads. The third person was chubby, with no wings and holding a club, and looked just like the rest of the Choir Kids. Shinichi and Heiji assumed that they were the King and Queen and the Guardian of the Choir Kids.

"We have decided not to harm any more children," the King said. "Our power of songs is supposed to be used to calm travelers and people who get lost in the woods and guide people who search for them to find those poor lost souls, and the power of our Guardian Genta's club is to punish those who do not cherish and try to destroy our natural homes. We're not supposed to use them on young teens and kids to make them sleep forever! This is not our way!"

"You will do as we say, King Mitsuhiko," the wolves snarled, "or we will kill every one of you!"

"We have made our decision," the Queen piped up. "We will not bite children! Hurting little kids for your own satisfaction was not part of the bargain!"

"Foolish Queen Ayumi!" the warlocks shrieked, and they pounced upon the little kids and struck them with their terrible claws.

The two royal children rolled over and lay still.

"You'll pay for this!" Genta yelled as he raised his club to hit the warlocks, but in vain. He, too, suffered the same fate as one of the warlocks smashed him onto the tree Shinichi and Heiji were hiding, making him bleed from head to toe, much to the horrified Choir Kids.

"We must finish those warlocks, once and for all," Shinichi whispered, and together he and Heiji leapt from their tree onto the three black wolves.

The warlock-wolves had claws that burned, teeth that sank into the very bone and the strength of a hundred dogs. But Shinichi and Heiji clung on until even their eyes began to fail. Shinichi, armed with an iron mallet, and Heiji, armed with a chisel and a hammer, attacked the wolves again and again without even stopping for breath. Using whatever weapons they've obtained from their masters' workshop, they were bent on the kill and were slightly deafened by the shrill howls and shrieks made by the wolves as they pound them over and over. They could hear the cries and screams of the Choir Kids as they ran for cover. They thought they must be fighting in their sleep and that when they woke, they would find themselves in the barn.

But when Shinichi and Heiji opened their eyes at last, they were in the forest and the taste of blood told them they had not been dreaming. Beside them were three motionless, bloodied forms and around them were their work tools used as weapons, drenched entirely in blood.

"Dead!" Heiji said. "And look, there are the King and Queen of the Choir Kids."

Shinichi and Heiji limped over towards the body of King Mitsuhiko and Queen Ayumi. They lay their motionless, stained in blood with a wound fatal by the warlocks' blow. The fascinating thing was their blood was not red, but silver-blue in colour.

"Well, at least we didn't have to kill them," Shinichi said. "The warlocks did it for us. Kuso, my body hurts worse than before!"

"To think that Shounen Kid went through loads of trouble and herbs trying to cure our wounds," Heiji sighed helplessly. "Come on, let's take these kids to our masters. Boy, what a painful way to die."

With but one thought the two boys picked up a tiny body, and carrying them gently in their arms, they crept out of the glade.

The Warlock & The Choir Kids-Chp3


The next morning Akasa found his daughter fast asleep on the doorstep. She was stiff and cold in her nightie and he could not wake her. As he carried Kazuha into the house, the carpenter saw the tiny bruise on the girl’s wrist and he knew that his daughter suffered from the same dreadful sickness as Ran Mouri. Heiji woke up almost too late from his deep sleep in the bracken and when he got there and saw the deathly, cold aura about the house, he knew what was coming for him.

“What use is an assistant if he can’t keep an intruder from our house?!” Akasa's wife cried as soon as she caught sight of Heiji, throwing angrily at Heiji with anything she could get her hands on. “You useless boy! I should've known we trusted you too much! Get out of our house, now!!”

Heiji guiltily accepted the blows inflicted on him, not moving from where he stood.

“There’s more than intruders at work here,” the carpenter said as he tried to calm his wife down. “Why should our daughter leave her bed on a frosty night? Sorcery, that’s what it is!”

Heiji slunk away with his bruised body, ashamed and sad. He couldn’t believe that he would be sleeping on the job. He was supposed to protect his little miss, but he failed. Now he understood what his best friend was musing about all this while. On his way to the resting hut, he met Shinichi in the street, and the two boys strolled together, sharing their terrible news.

“I heard about Kazuha,” Shinichi said.

“Yeah, well, I guess I understand now how you feel,” Heiji said. “But why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve warned me if this was going to happen. I might have been able to protect Kazuha.”

“Gomen…” Shinichi looked away, looking guilty. Heiji regretted ever saying that.

“Su…Sunimase. You still haven’t gotten over the shock yet, of course you couldn’t warn me.”

Shinichi gave him a wry smile, but he was still trying to fight the guilty feeling for not able to save Ran.

“Do your wounds still hurt? You look like you’ve been into some samurai war,” Heiji said as he touched one of the cuts on Shinichi’s cheek, which Shinichi winced from.


“Come on, Conan. Let me treat you of your wounds.”

“Ie…” Shinichi shook his head. “I’m fine. Leave me like this.”

“Conan, I am not going to tolerate this childishness!” Heiji exclaimed with his hands on his hips. “We are going to the resting hut right now and you are going to be treated whether you like it or not! That means all your wounds will be disinfected and plastered, you understand me?!”

“Ha…Hait…” Shinichi shrank. Heiji can be very scary and fierce if he has to. “I’ll do it already. You don’t have to yell. You need some medication yourself, anyways.”

“Good,” Heiji said as he tugged Shinichi’s sleeve, careful not to touch the wound. “Let’s get going.”

As they passed the weaver’s cottage on their way to the resting hut, they felt a hush behind them, like an indrawn breath that swallowed even the birds’ song.

The two boys ducked into the shadow of a sakura tree close by Megure, the weaver’s door. This time, they saw a woman with short brown hair dressed in dark outfit just like her brothers and smelling of chemicals and alcohol, shorter than her brothers and even fiercer. She rapped on the door and when Megure opened it, she said in a cruel voice, “Weaver, I want a hundred yards of black cloth and I want it tonight!”

“Nani?! A hundred yards?” the chubby Megure exclaimed. “I have no black cloth, and I cannot weave it all in one day. Such a task is impossible.”

“Then it’ll be the worse for you!” the woman said, and as she whirled away, her deep blue eyes darted past Megure to the baby girl who slept in his wife’s arms. Shinichi almost went cold when he recognized that glare.

The dark figure swooped up the hill in her gloomy crow colours and the two boys gazed helplessly at each other.

“That glare,” Shinichi said. “I’ve seen that glare before. Her first brother gave that glare to Ran the day Kogoro-sama refused his request.”

“We must do something, Conan,” Heiji said. “Or like Ran and Kazuha, that poor baby will sleep forever.”

“Let us go to Shounen Kid,” Shinichi suggested. “His herbs may be useless against the sleeping sickness, but he is still the wisest in the village. He will surely give us some advice.”

When they got to his house after quite a while of walking and running, they were quite surprised to see, for the first time, the home of Kaisen Mura’s wisest man. It was like a palace compared to the rest of the houses in Kaisen Mura and it sure stood out from the rest, with its structure made of the finest wood and the doors and windows made out of the finest materials anyone could find. Not only was he the wisest, but probably the richest as well.

Shounen Kid was out on the hill, so the boys sneaked through his window. They gazed at the herbs and the berries and heather; so many bright bottles, so many fragrant bowls. Not to mention the medicinal gadgets displayed there that they have never exactly seen before. They crept close to his fire to wait. Shounen Kid soon came back with his basket in his arm. He saw them and smiled.

“Well, it’s Shinichi and Heiji, isn’t it?” Shounen Kid said, twilight following him into the room in his sleek white suit and white hat. “Come for advice, have you?”

“Hait, Shounen Kid,” Shinichi said. “We need help from you and we kinda need it fast.”

“Honto?” Shounen Kid asked.

“Honto ni,” Heiji chimed in. “We want to know if there is a cure for our little misses.”

“There is a way to cure Kazuha and Ran,” the young man said. “If you can bring two freshly killed Choir Kids to the blacksmith and the carpenter, their children will be saved. But you must stay awake through the bewitching song, or you are lost!”

“Na…Nani…?” Shinichi stammered. “We actually have to kill those kids?”

“That’s the way it has to be,” Shounen Kid replied.

“Don’t you think it’s a little bit too…extreme?” Heiji asked hesitantly. “I mean we have to kill two kids in order to save our little misses. We have to become like, well, like murderers. I would not drag my best friend into this. Never.”

“Well, do you want to save your little misses or not? Or do you guys want to just sit in a corner together hugging each other in self-pity as you watch your little misses sleep their lives away along with the other victims…until it reaches the both of you?”

Shinichi and Heiji didn’t know what to say.

“Glad that we’ve understood each other. Watch those warlocks now and follow them,” Shounen Kid said. He tapped each boy's forehead with his brass cane and for a moment they glimmered like fairy creatures. “A little magic to give you strength,” he said. “Be off with you now, for soon those warlocks will be on the move.”

“Umm…Before that,” Heiji said as he pointed at Shinichi’s wounds all over his body, “can you do something about these wounds on Conan here?”

“Hey, you too, you know!” Shinichi pointed accusingly at Heiji’s bruises.

“Hait,” Shounen Kid grinned and used the cane to magic his clothes off, revealing his bare body. With his special ointments, he lathered it all over Shinichi’s wounds. Heiji watched him do it and couldn’t help blushing. He didn’t know why though. Maybe it’s because it is the first time he had ever seen Shinichi naked. Shounen Kid stole a look at Heiji and grinned knowingly as he waited for the wounds to close up before he magic the clothes back on him. He repeated the same process on Heiji and he saw the same reaction Heiji had towards Shinichi on Shinichi himself. He grinned even more.

“Off you go now, boys,” Shounen Kid said after he magic Heiji’s clothes back on him. “And remember, be careful.”

Shinichi and Heiji nodded and walked out into the starlight, with their heads high and their golden eyes beaming eagerly into the night.

The Warlock & The Choir Kids-Chp2


Shinichi woke up the next morning feeling an unnatural chill in the room. It felt so cold, as if the house of Mouri the blacksmith has been caved in with snow. When he got up to check out his little miss, he was shocked to see Ran lying cold and still—too still. He gently patted her cheek, but she did not stir. Shinichi felt the chill strike deep inside him, like an piece of icicle jabbed through his gut.

“Ran!” Mrs. Mouri called. “Get up, girl. Come and help me in the kitchen.”

Ran did not move. Shinichi was going weak all over. He felt so scared that he couldn't control the dreadful wail that tore out of his mouth. Mr. and Mrs. Mouri heard him and came running into the room.

“Doushite, Shinichi? What's wrong?” Mrs. Mouri cried, and then she saw Ran’s face, deathly pale on the patched pillow. She shook her daughter and called her name over and over, but Ran was held fast in some terrible enchantment. And as her mother desperately rubbed the slender fingers, Shinichi saw a tiny bruise on Ran’s wrist and was filled with shame. Kogoro Mouri saw them too.

“You wretched boy! You baka!” he yelled. “Someone has come into our Ran's room and poisoned her, and all the while you slept beside her. And I trusted you! Shame on you for being a lazy good-for-nothing!”

Shinichi did not wait to hear any more. He couldn't stand the guilt. He ran out of the house and crept under a thorn bush, the thorns cutting through his fair skin as he went. And there he stayed, disgraced, watching Ran’s window, regardless of the fact that the thorns in the thorn bush were pricking and cutting him like a thousand tiny knives, making him bleed. He believed he deserved this punishment anyway.

Moments later he saw Shounen Kid, the youngest and wisest in all the village, as he arrived at the house. He had brought his brass cane and his basket of herbs and medical gadgets, and as Kogoro Mouri drew him inside, there was a gleam of hope in his eyes. But when they came out, the hope was gone.

“It’s the legendary Choir Kids,” he said and shook his head. “One pinch and the victim sleeps forever.”

“Ma…Masaka…That cannot be,” Kogoro argued. “The Choir Kids disappeared in my father’s time, and they’ve never been heard of since.”

“Well, they’re back,” Shounen Kid said. “There’s no doubt about it. And I cannot undo their sorcery.” He looked solemnly at his brass cane and his basket of herbs and gadgets. “But there is a chance,” he murmured thoughtfully and whispered something into Kogoro’s ear that seemed to cheer the man.

“Shinichi! Shinichi, where are you?” Kogoro called.

But Shinichi would not go to him. He would not go to the house for his dinner and he would not even join Heiji who called him to hang out at the resting hut. He lay all night beneath the thorn bush, watching Ran’s window. And in the morning he stayed there still—bleeding, dirty, cold and hungry as he was. Heiji walked over and approached him.

“Hey, Conan. Why the long face?”

Shinichi just stared quietly at him, then back at Ran’s window.

“What happened to Ran? I heard she got into some sort of Sleeping Beauty mode or something…Conan?”

Still, no reply.

“Hey, Conan, if you don’t tell me what’s going on, I won’t be able to understand what you’re feeling right now. Please, talk to me.”

No reply.

“At least let me treat your wounds. You look terrible.”

Shinichi shook his head, his eyes never leaving Ran’s window. No matter how Heiji try to bring him into conversation, he seemed to fall on deaf ears. It was like he never even heard him at all. In the end, he had to leave him alone as his little miss Kazuha called him back to the workshop.

Heiji did not understand why his friend crouched alone all day and would not talk to him. He was even worried and sad when Shinichi refused to be treated of his wounds. Puzzled and lonely, he went to play with Kazuha in the carpenter’s yard. He, too, was also having a crush on her as Shinichi did Ran, but her family was more open-minded about them being together. He was chasing a ball thrown over by Kazuha when he felt an icy wind blast into the yard, and the hair on the back of his neck bristled uncomfortably.

There in the gateway stood a motionless figure. He was also wrapped in a black outfit like his brother, but he was fatter and fiercer, and he wore a pair of sunglasses.

“Ohayogozaimas. It’s a fine day,” Akasa said, trying to be pleasant. “Can I help you?”

“I want a cupboard,” the man demanded. “A big oak cupboard with ivy leaves carved on the door, and I want it tonight.”

“You gotta be kidding me, man,” Akasa replied. “I have no oak cupboards and I certainly can’t make one in a day.”

“Then it’ll be the worse for you,” the man said, and as he turned away, his sunglasses glittered evilly and rested on young Kazuha, who was laughing and chasing Heiji and did not see the look. Heiji also didn’t notice the glint as he was so engrossed in having fun with Kazuha and making her happy.

That night Heiji sat in his usual haunt, waiting for Shinichi, hoping he would join him. His bright eyes searched the fields for a sign of movement, but it was a bitter, frosty night and no rats or voles were stirring. Then he heard a soft crunch of a ball on the icy ground and saw a small figure drift across the street, as in a dream. Young Kazuha was coming out of her cozy home and was making for the dark house on the hill. Swift as a hawk, Heiji ran out of the hut and was after the girl. He was about to catch up with her when on the hill path a sound of wonderful singing surrounded him. It filled him with longing, and he knew why the girl was drawn to it. It sang of love, of friendship, of passion and of sorrow. It sang of the four seasons of the earth. It was a combination of some many other songs that mingled and twisted itself into a melodious, bewitching tune. He sank into the bracken, not knowing if he was tumbling into the song or the song into him, and at last he fell into a sweet, dreamless sleep…

The Warlock & The Choir Kids-Chp1


On stormy night, when winter foxes still roamed the snowy ancient hills, three warlocks came to Hokkaido and into Kaisen Mura (made that up). No one saw them come but Shinichi, the blacksmith’s apprentice, and Heiji, the carpenter’s assistant, who were watching from the resting hut, their favourite hangout.

Through the scream of the wind and the rumble of thunder, the childhood friends’ sharp ears picked up the sound of hoof beats. A huge black horse, that looked almost like a Thestral from Harry Potter, was toiling up the road, and a heavy wagon creaked behind it. They ducked under the table and crouched low, wondering what kind of human could be traveling on such night, and when the wagon passed, they shuddered from the tips of their hair right through to the ends of their toes.

Three dark figures were leaning into the wild wind; one held a whip, one held a lantern and the third stared into the hut with terrible glittering eyes. And the freaky thing was they were all wearing pitch-black clothes. They weren’t sure whether the person who was staring at the hut saw them, but they weren’t taking any chances of coming out from under the table.

“I smell mischief,” Shinichi hissed.

“I smell worse, Conan,” Heiji grunted, calling his friend by his childhood nickname. “I think I smell a scary mystery or maybe even death.”

“Who do you think they could be, Heiji?” Shinichi asked, slowly crawling out of the table as soon as the wagon was out of sight.

“I don’t know, but we gotta keep our heads up. Let's go home now and get some sleep, coz I bet it'll be the last good sleep we’ll get for many a night.”

They bid their goodbyes and quickly rushed back to their respective masters' home. But they slept fitfully. Strange sounds disturbed their dreams—a clattering and a hammering that had nothing to do with the weather. It made such a noise that almost everyone in Kaisen Mura couldn't sleep. By the next morning the storm had rolled away. The sun burst over the hill and the villagers of Kaisen Mura bustled into the street. There they scratched their heads and murmured in disbelief, for overnight the tumbledown building on the Kaisen Hill had been given a new roof; the crooked walls had been patched with stones and smoke poured from the chimney.

Even Shinichi and Heiji, who were hanging out again together at the resting hut for a game of Japanese chess before work time, couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw the massive dark building up at the hill. They looked at each other knowingly, convinced that what they saw last night was not a dream and that those three ghostly people were no ordinary beings.

“Who can be living there?” Kogoro Mouri, the blacksmith, asked.

“And who would build a house with only a peephole for a window?” Ran, his daughter, asked.

“Who could work on such a stormy night?” Akasa, the carpenter, asked.

“A magician?” His daughter Kazuha suggested.

“Or a witch?” Ran said.

“Baka! Who would believe such a thing!” the blacksmith and the carpenter laughed.

But Ran and Kazuha walked away from the laughter and headed up the hill, eager to see who could be living in the windowless house. Shinichi and Heiji wanted to stop them but they were called by their masters to hurry along back to the workshop for work. The girls had not climbed far, however, when someone emerged from the house on the hill. The figure wore a black hat, with long, flowing golden brown hair, and had a long coat as dark as night that hung over his face in heavy folds, and he moved towards the children like a dark pillar of smoke. Kazuha and Ran almost screamed as they ran helter-skelter down the hill, wanting only to be safe from that cloudy figure.

“Matte, matte, Ran,” Kogoro said as she raced into the yard. “Daijobu deska? Have you seen a ghost?”

“Not a ghost, Otosan, a…a…” But she could not finish, for there, moving soundlessly into the yard, was the stranger in his gray shroud.

“O…Ohayo gozaimas, and what can I do for you?” Kogoro asked, a little shaken by his mysterious visitor but determined to be polite.

“Blacksmith, I want you to make me a bed,” he said, and his voice sent a chill through the man. “A big iron bed with a bronze moon at the head and a bronze star at the foot. And I want it tonight.”

“Nani?! A bed like that by tonight! I cannot make it by tonight!” Kogoro said, standing his ground. “I have work to do for the other folk. Come back in three days and I’ll see what I can do.”

“You will do what I want today!” he screeched.

“Ie, I will not! Not by tonight!”

“Then it’ll be the worse for you,” the man snarled, and as he whirled away, he turned on Ran such a furious, cold glance with his icy-blue eyes that Ran, feeling dizzy, knelt and clung to Shinichi, who was bringing in the utensil for work. He caught her just in time.

“Da…Daijobu deska, Ran-sama?”

“Stay with me tonight, Conan,” she begged suddenly. “I'm scared to be alone in the dark. That strange man is gonna roam around and get us for sure!”

“Ho…Honto ni?” Shinichi asked in disbelief, his cheeks blushing pink like peaches. “But…But Ran-sama, I can’t be in your room alone. I’m prohibited to even go anywhere too close to you…”

“Onegai, Conan,” Ran said, begging him with her puppy eyes. “I’m really, really scared. I’ll speak to Otosan about this, don’t you worry. Just please promise me you’ll protect me tonight. Onegai…?”

“Ha…Hait, Ran-sama,” Shinichi agreed hesitantly, his heart jumping with joy. He had always wanted to be close to his little miss. He had a crush on her ever since he was accepted as an apprentice in Kogoro Mouri’s workshop. He swore that he would go to the ends for her, even if it means going to hell and back again. He smiled and stroke Ran’s cheek gently before she walked away to tell her father about her plan.

It wasn’t easy though. Ran had to do a lot of begging and Shinichi a lot of guarantees and promises for that. In the end Kogoro reluctantly agreed. Shinichi happily told Heiji about it and Heiji punched his shoulder playfully, congratulating him for being such a lucky son-of-a-gun. But somehow, deep down inside him, he couldn’t help feeling that Ran is trying to keep his best friend all to herself. Sooner or later if they got steady, he probably wouldn’t be able to hang out with him like they used to.

He didn’t know why he felt this way though.

That night the blacksmith's apprentice followed Ran when she went to bed. After what seemed like a long time of lecturing from his master not to even lay a finger on her, he was finally allowed to hang out in her room. He blushed as he watched Ran for the first time in her nightgown and her fluffy bed. She showed him where she keeps her spare mattress and he laid it on the floor beside her bed.

“Oyasumi nasai, Ran-sama,” Shinichi said as he got into his night clothes.

“Oyasumi nasai, my hero,” Ran said as she turned around to sleep.

He soon curled himself comfortably in the blanket and heard her drift into her dreams, but Shinichi knew that he had to steel himself for a sleepless and watchful night. He saw the moon sail into the snowy sky. He smelled the dew on the leaves of the fir tree beside her room window and he closed one eye. It would be so good to have a little nap, but he knew he must not. He listened for footfalls, for anything that might bring harm to his little miss Ran, but all he heard were owl crying and bats calling. Suddenly he heard a faraway song. It was a drowsy, dreamy song. He wasn't sure where it came from and who or what sang this but it was such delightful music, that he was sure only the fairies could have made it. He yawned and closed his other eye. Surely Ran would come to no harm if he slept for just a minute or two…

The Warlock & The Choir Kids-Intro

Started & Completed: 11-06-04



SHINICHI – Plays the role of Tam, the blacksmith's cat

HEIJI – Plays the role of Rory, the carpenter's cat

KOGORO MOURI – Plays the role of Andrew McBride the blacksmith

PROF. AKASA – Plays the role of Alec Ross the carpenter

RAN – Plays the role of Kirsty, the blacksmith's daughter

KAZUHA – Plays the role of Jamie, the carpenter's daughter (actually, it's a son, but for this story, I will have to need her)

KAITO KID – Plays the role of Granny Pine

DETECTIVE MEGURE – Plays the role of the weaver

GIN, VODKA & AI HAIBARA – Plays the role of the three witches (I couldn't find another guy to play the role of the 3rd witch, and I don't wanna use Kid the Grand Thief coz he doesn't look good in black and evil. Since Ai Haibara was once the member of Gin & Vodka's team, she fits better)

AYUMI, GENTA & MITSUHIKO – Plays the role of the singing mice (Mitsuhiko as the King-mouse and Ayumi as the Queen-mouse. Genta will be an extra character)

Wedding Trivia-Chp Finale

When Goku returned to school, he briefly bluffed a little that his foster parents had got him someone to take care of at the last minute because they didn’t want to waste the fees paid. The reality was that Son Goku was living with Genjo Sanzo (he requested Goku to call him ‘Sanzo’ when they weren’t in the school compound) under one roof.

In the meantime, they were getting ready for the wedding. The wedding clothes were bought and the wedding spot was picked. (Sanzo wanted it to be a surprise, but Goku found out soon enough). Now last thing they need to do was the traditional bachelors’ party. Goku invited his closest relatives for the party and Sanzo hung out with his old college mates.

"Serious? You’re actually getting married to your English sensei Konzen?! You lucky girl, you!" Ririn, his foster cousin, exclaimed excitedly. Kogaiji, Ririn’s brother, ruffled Goku’s hair in slight envy.

"What charm did you put out him to make him so addicted to you?" Doku, his Papa Gojyo’s half-brother, asked with a grin.

"You must teach me the next time I want to get the guy I want!" Yaone, Kogaiji’s fiancée, giggled before apologizing to Kogaiji who shot her a pretend-angry look.

Goku was showered with compliments. He felt both proud and awkward with all the attention he was getting. The last time he had such an attention was when he won grand prize for the National Food Fest Competition. With a bottomless pit, it’s no wonder.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. The friends thought it was Sanzo coming home, but Goku knew that it wasn’t him; he’d bring the house keys. He went to answer the door and was shocked to see a gang of spunky-looking ladies and a couple of men barging into the house.

"Alright, who’s the wise girl who dares to marry our Sanzo-chan?!"

The leader of the gang, a pink-and-white-haired woman looked pretty strong and spunky. Goku backed away a little. Ririn and Yaone have run into hiding moments later.

"Who the heck are you?" Kogaiji yelled at them angrily. "Don’t you know it’s rude to crash someone’s party?"

"We demand to know who is the wise girl who dares to marry our life-long idol!" another woman yelled back. "This is none of your business!"

"You better leave before we call the cops or before you eat our fists!" Doku joined in the argument. The two of Goku’s tough relatives wanted to continue defending Goku but Goku decided to stand up to them.

"I…I am. Who wants to know?"

The leader took a glance at Goku’s small built and suddenly guffawed, followed by her members. She pointed a jeering finger at Goku and exclaimed, "You?! You’re our Sanzo-chan’s ‘wife’-to-be?! You gotta be kidding me, little boy! I can see it in your eyes that you’re nothing but a grade-schooler!"

"I’m not a grade-schooler! I’m 15, and next year I’ll be eligible to be married to Sensei Konzen!" Goku still need time to get off the habit of calling Sanzo the biblical name outside school.

"Oh yeah? What makes you think you’re eligible to marry him?" one of the members, a man, asked scornfully.

"By law and by decree!" Goku said as he pointed at the signed marriage papers that he and Sanzo framed and put on the wall as soon as he moved into his humble home. "And the reason that we love each other!"

The leader of the group glared at the framed marriage papers on the wall and her eye twitched in anger. She tore the frame out of the wall and smashed the frame onto the floor. She then took out the papers out of the smashed frame and lit a match on it, letting it burn. Goku was horrified. This was the only thing that proves that he and Sanzo is a lawful wedded couple.

He ran towards the burning papers and, with his bare hands, tried to pat the fire away, scalding them a little in the process. The leader was just as horrified as Doku and Kogaiji at upon looking at this.

"You idiot! You’ll get yourself scalded! What are you trying to do?!"

"This is…This is me and Sensei Konzen’s papers. I can’t let it burn!!! You’re evil!! These are our papers!! How could you?!" His hands were beginning to hurt in heat, but he didn’t care. He needed to get the fire killed.

"What’s going on here?"

Everyone stopped their bickering (Doku and Kogaiji were in the verge to start a gang fight) and spun round to see Sanzo and his gang of bachelor friends—Homura, Shien and Zeon—standing at the doorway, his hands on his waist and his stern eyes glaring at the spunky team. The team members softened their spunky faces and rushed up to Sanzo.

"Oh, Sanzo-chan! Please tell me that this immature boy is not the one you’re going to marry. You never used to be like that stuck-to-glue type of guy. Tell me it’s not true," the whiney voice of the leader made Goku sick.

"Yeah!" the boys in the team chided in. "You used to be a free-lancer, hanging out with us drinking and smoking to your hearts content and liking anyone and any gender you choose! You used to be our hero! What’s gotten into you?!"

Sanzo didn’t reply straight away. He dashed towards Goku, checking to see if his hands were hurt or anything—obviously it was—and hugged him close to his chest.

"How dare you guys come barging in like that?! If you hurt one more hair of my ‘wife’, I swear I’ll blow your brains out!"

"Your…Your ‘wife’…? I can’t believe it, you’re actually going to marry that midget?!" the leader was stunned.

"This ‘midget’ is my ‘wife’ and I’m not going to let you hurt him!" Mr. Mitchell glared at the girls with his dark eyes dangerously, taking out the gun he had kept inside his jacket and pointing it at the spunky team. He had been carrying that gun around ever since his college years for protection and this was the first time Goku saw it. The leader hesitated for a while before letting out a sharp breath.

"Fine! If you want to spend your whole life with that little dog, suit yourself!" she growled before pushing her way through the bachelors and out of the door. Sanzo tended to Goku’s hands, knocking Goku’s head with his knuckles.

"You bakasaru. It’s fire you’re dealing with. Why did you go hero all over and try to put it out?"

"I had to. She was burning them. It was a symbol of our lawful marriage by decree. I had to…" Goku was close to tears but Sanzo had his fingers wiping them.

"Bakasaru. They’re just pieces of paper. We can get another copy. There, there…" This was also the first time anyone has ever seen Sanzo speak so tenderly.

"So! This is the lucky ‘bride’ I see!" Zeon, one of the bachelors said as he ruffled Goku’s dark-brown hair. Everyone had a hearty laugh and the tense atmosphere was released. Goku’s girlfriends came out of their hiding place and joined in the fun.

After the bachelors’ party, Sanzo helped Goku to clean up the party mess in the living room. While picking up the half-eaten potato chips, Sanzo turned to look and Goku still eyeing sadly at the torn pieces of the marriage papers that were put aside on the table at the dining room.

"Doushite?" Sanzo asked, moving close to his fiancé.

"Annou…I still can’t get over the fact that the papers that brought us together could be ruined just like that, that’s all," Goku said quietly as he picked up the pieces, ready to throw them into the trashcan.

"Bakasaru. Didn’t I tell you that they’re just pieces of paper? We can get another copy. It’s not the end of the world yet."

"Hait, I know that. It’s just…"

Without warning, Sanzo came up from behind him and hugged him close. Goku blushed scarlet as he could hear Sanzo’s heartbeat beating steadily near his ear (he wasn’t too tall, mind you. Just as high as Sanzo’s chest). While being distracted by Sanzo’s beating heart, Sanzo’s tongue came towards Goku’s earlobe, running the wet tip along it. Goku gasped.

"Do we need the papers to do this?" Sanzo whispered silkily at Goku’s ear, enticing him.


"Do we need the papers to do this?" Sanzo asked as his hand reached out slowly to grasp Goku’s crotch, making Goku let out a strangled yelp. Goku went all weak and fell onto the carpeted floor, Sanzo’s arms still around him.

"Say it, Goku," Sanzo whispered as he nibbled Goku’s neck while taking off the little bakasaru’s trousers. "Do we need to apply for marriage papers to do this?"

So saying, he claimed the lips of his ‘wife’-to-be as he undid his pants and thrust into Goku. Goku widened his eyes and let out a muffled cry, feeling Sanzo’s ‘entrance’ painfully in him. Goku tore his lips away from Sanzo and cried.

"I…Ite, Sanzo…Ite…!!"

"Say it, Goku. Do we need any papers for all this?" Sanzo pressed on, thrusting deeper into Goku. Tears fell freely out of Goku’s golden eyes.

"Ya…Yameru…!! Yameru kudasai…!!"

"Answer me, bakasaru. Do we need papers for all this?"


"I can’t hear you."

"Ie…IE!! We don’t need them!! Just…stop…! Yameru kudasai~!!"

Sanzo soon slowed down his thrusting and kissed Goku’s lips, licking the tears that ran down his cheeks. He kissed him some more and hushed Goku who was whining and sobbing, begging Sanzo to stop hurting him.

"See? It’s not that important as it seemed, does it? It’s only pieces of paper showing that we’re legally married, that’s all. I bet they never needed it during the olden days. Don’t worry, we’ll get another copy, alright?"

"Hait…" Goku replied painfully. He could still feel Sanzo’s thrust in him. "Ite…Yameru…"

"Gomenasai…" Sanzo whispered as he claimed Goku’s lips again. "I’ll be very gentle…I promise…"


Well, all’s well ends well. They got a new copy of marriage papers, reapplied it and resigned it. And just on Goku’s birthday, they got married at the church. Before they both set out into the procession, Sanzo went into the waiting and checked on Goku, who was doing the finishing touch of his outfit.

"Are you done yet?" Sanzo called out.

"Almost," Goku replied. Sanzo stared in awe at Goku in his wedding outfit, his face blushing like heck (that’s very rare!).

"You…You are so beautiful…" Goku muttered sheepishly.

"Really?" Goku asked. He looked at his husband-to-be and said, "Sensei Kon…I mean, Sanzo? Are you sure you want to do this? I mean…I forced you to take me as your ‘wife’…and you could find other people more suitable than me…"

Sanzo replied with a solemn face, "Honto-ni, you sure are a midget, pretty but not cute, and you are a little extravagantly crazy. Not to mention you are a seriously demented bakasaru."

Goku pouted, "I should’ve known."

"But," Sanzo said as he raised his ‘bride’ high above his head and stole a kiss from his rosy lips, "That’s what I like about you, Goku."

So, with the vows made and the rings exchanged and the kisses shared and the confetti showered on them and all, they were officially declared husband and ‘wife’. It was romantic, more than words can describe.

Cliché as it may sound, I must say that they lived happily ever after.

Wedding Trivia-Chp3

Next week was incoming really fast. Throughout that week, Goku tried as hard as possible to avoid Sensei Konzen. Goku and his family have already packed all their belongings and have shipped them to their new home in Las Vegas. All they need to do now is catch the evening plane and they’ll be off to Las Vegas within the day. He had announced his leaving to all his classmates and they gathered around him to wish him goodbye. At least he found a little comfort from his friends; they were at least caring for his leaving.

The time of leaving was almost near. Goku sat alone in his class thinking about the great time he had with Sensei Konzen on their so-called match-make date. He remembered every detail of their date together and found it hard to just let it all go just because of his father’s job. He still had the papers with him. He finally got up from his seat and scribbled something on the blackboard before leaving.

Sensei Konzen was staying back late that evening in school. As he marked the papers, he felt something missing in his heart. He felt the utmost uneasiness inside him, as if he had let go something very important that he had ignored for so long. It was as if he…

He shook his head in denial. He refused to believe it. He refused to admit it. He was a teacher, and he should act like one. That was when he realized that he had left his file in the classroom. He rushed over to get it and was shocked to see the ever familiar scribbling on the blackboard:

I’m sorry about the trouble I’ve caused you, sensei, but I still love you no matter where I go or what happens. I’ll miss you. Take care, sensei.

Your student,

Sha-Cho Son Goku

Sensei Konzen stared at the scribbling over and over again. He saw the marriage papers still on his desk with his signature still on it. He clenched his fists so hard it was in the verge of cracking. There was someone whom he could spend his whole life together in such happiness and he had forgo him just because he was a teacher and he was a student. There was someone who was willing to do everything for him regardless the consequences and he had let him go just because he thought it was childish. And there was someone he had actually fallen in love with and he had denied him just because he was too blind to see it.

He finally knew what to do.

He grabbed the papers and a stamp. He asked one of his students what time was Goku’s flight and rushed immediately to the airport. On the way, he kept repeating in his heart, "Please don’t go, Goku! Please don’t go! Aishiteru, Goku, aishiteru!! Don’t go! Don’t leave me!! Onegai!!"

Meanwhile, at the airport, Goku was in one of his tantrums again. He never wanted to go in the first place, and now he was feeling really bad following his parents to Las Vegas and leaving Sensei Konzen behind. He wanted to go home. He didn’t want to go to Las Vegas. He didn’t want to go anywhere else but to Sensei Konzen’s arms.

"I don’t wanna go, Mama Hakkai, Papa Gojyo! I wanna stay!!"

"Please be reasonable, saru-chan. It’s for the best. We can’t leave you here, we have no one here to take of you," Gojyo tried to coax him out of his tantrum.

"Yes, saru-chan. Please stop crying. Las Vegas is not so bad once you get to know it," Hakkai agreed, but it didn’t do Goku any good.

"I wanna go home! I wanna go home!"

"Son Goku!!!"

That voice! That ever familiar voice! How could he not recognize that stern, masculine voice? He rushed to the railings and looked down to the ground floor.

"Sensei Konzen! You’re here!" Goku exclaimed in surprise.

"Goku, come home with me!!" Sensei Konzen yelled from the ground floor, waving the marriage papers above his head. "A bakasaru ‘wife’ as troublesome, as childish and as great as you is the only boy I want to marry!!"

Goku was touched. He had come all the way from school to the airport just to marry him! He actually agreed to marry him! Out of excitement, he climbed the railing and jumped down towards the ground floor into Sensei Konzen’s arms. It was a blissful sight to behold. (A/N: This part, imagine the piano version of Genzomaden Saiyuki’s theme song ‘For Real’ is being played in the background)

Sensei Konzen set the little midget boy down and took out his stamp. He displayed the papers right before Goku’s eyes and stamped the column where his stamp was needed. He smiled suavely at Goku for the first time and asked, "Am I making you happy now?"

"Yes, sir! Oh yes, you made me the happiest little boy alive!" Goku replied as he hugged Sensei Konzen lovingly.

Goku’s foster parents quickly went downstairs to see what was going on and to check if their saru-chan was alright. When they caught a glimpse of Sensei Konzen, Gojyo, for the first time, asked him seriously, "Who are you? What are you doing with my son?"

Goku hid behind his teacher. Sensei Konzen took a deep breath before showing the papers to him and said, "I’m Genjo Sanzo a.k.a. Konzen, your son’s English teacher and I come to ask for your son’s hand in marriage. I may not be qualified in your eyes and I know he is not eligible to be married until he’s exactly 16 years old. But I can promise you, Mr. Sha Gojyo, before that day arrives, I will take good care of him and be responsible in everything that has happened to him!"

That was really a great moment to Goku as he heard him say every word. He could feel his body slightly trembling and had a feeling that he was as nervous as he was. He begged to the gods hoping that this might work out.

Fortunately for the both of them, Gojyo clapped Sensei Konzen’s back almost immediately and exclaimed, "So you’re the Konzen guy my saru-chan has been talking about! I knew right from the moment my son mentioned you that you are the right guy for my saru-chan! I’m so glad you’ve asked for his hand in marriage!"

And the rest was pretty much history. Sha Gojyo and Cho Hakkai went without Goku to Las Vegas and his father promised that he’d ship back all his belongings to him once he reached there. Goku soon found himself walking side by side with Sensei Konzen to his home.

"Are you sure about this, sir?" Goku was still skeptical.

"Would I be running to the airport for you if I weren’t sure?" Sensei Konzen asked. Goku smiled and shook his head. No, he’s never that stupid to do that.

Not his Sensei Konzen.

Wedding Trivia-Chp2

The next day, after school, Sensei Konzen—the punctual guy he was—went to the park where he and the original date promised to meet. He seemed pretty nervous, judging by the amount of cigarette butts at his feet. He had never dated before and so he was a bit queasy about the whole idea.

"Sensei Konzen, sensei!"

Sensei Konzen turned around and was shocked to see Goku dressed up to the nines in an outstanding body-fit sleeveless T-shirt and leather jeans, with a denim jacket and fashionable shoes to match. He backed away and asked in a stern voice, "Son Goku, you bakasaru, what in the world are you doing here?"

"I’m here for our date, sensei, if you must know," Goku replied, smiling sweetly.

"Date? Since when do we have a date?"

"If you hadn’t noticed, sensei, I’m your match-make date."

Sensei Konzen stared in disbelief at his student for a full half minute before taking out the match-make file, which he had never opened since he received it from the Headmistress. Thanks to Goku’s cunning mind, his picture was definitely on it, confirming his convictions.

"This has got to be a mistake," Sensei Konzen almost became as pale as a ghost before taking to his heels. "I think we should just all forget about it and go home."

"Ie, sensei! Onegai!" Goku grabbed Sensei Konzen’s sleeve. "Since you’re already out, you might as well carry on! Please, sensei, I’ve always wanted to go out on a date with you! Don’t think of it as a match-make, just a plain ol’ date. Onegai~!"

Sensei Konzen turned around and looked at Goku. His golden puppy eyes were shining with determination and wanting, as if he was really desperate to be with him. Sensei Konzen couldn’t help feeling sorry and concerned for this boy. He had never felt like this for a long time. Probably because he was teaching in a school where everyone is a big fan of him, he was much immune to the little bickering of little kids.

Soon, he found himself letting out a sigh of defeat, taking Goku’s hand and replied, "Oh, alright. Just this once. Then we’ll pretend that this had never happened, alright?"

"Hait!" Goku replied happily, his face glowing with bliss and happiness.

"Bakasaru," Sensei Konzen muttered as he took him into the heart of the city. Goku was really looking forward to a great day with his crush.

One more problem though, how was he going to make him sign the papers?

They had a great day at the city. They went to the mall, then to the arcades where Sensei Konzen took his hands to play the arcade games (ooh, romantica!), and went to a whole lot more places until Goku realized that he was quite hungry.

"Ne, ne, Sensei Konzen," Goku tugged at Sensei Konzen’s sleeve. "Harahate-ne (I’m hungry)."

"You just ate 3 buns, 1 toffee apple, 2 bags of potato chips, 2 hotdogs with mustard, 3 ice-cream cones and drank 4 cokes. And you’re still hungry??" Sensei Konzen asked him in disbelief.

"I have a very big appetite," Goku grinned sheepishly.

"I’m not going to entertain your bottomless pit anymore. If you wanna eat, you can just go back to your own house and eat."

"Harahate-ne, sensei~!" Goku begged as he tugged at Sensei Konzen’s sleeve with his puppy eyes gazing adoringly at him. One half of Sensei Konzen’s mind was bent on looking for something to whack the little bakasaru’s head with and leave him there alone in the streets, but the other half wanted him to just comply with his wishes and get this date over with.

Guess which half won.

The restaurant was quite full where they were, so they had to stand and wait for their turn. In the meantime, the waitress required them to sign the guest book to reserve a spot for them. That was when Goku had his chance. He slipped in the papers onto the guest book and guided Sensei Konzen to sign it. He was too busy looking to see if there were any empty spaces for them to sit that he just signed it absentmindedly.

‘Perfect!’ Goku thought. ‘Now all I need is his stamp. But…he doesn’t have a stamp. No one would be an idiot to bring a stamp along, not Sensei Konzen…Oh well, I guess his fingerprint will do.’

After their lunch, Goku begged Sensei Konzen to take to watch the latest romance movie ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’. Sensei Konzen, after much begging and puppy eyes and resisting head-bonking temptations, finally agreed. They bought the tickets and watched the romantic movie. Around them, Goku could hear sobbing from the other girls who came to watch with their boyfriends. He wanted to cry himself—the movie was so touching—but he had better things to do.

Slowly, he took out the marriage papers and took out his ink-based pen. He took Sensei Konzen’s hand softly and was attempting to mark his thumb so that he could get his fingerprint. He realized how silly it was when Sensei Konzen glared at him with a pair of angry violet eyes and flushed cheeks. He grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the cinema to the park where they met before their date.

"Ite, ite, sensei, you’re hurting me, ite~!" Goku whined as Sensei Konzen continued to pull him into the park. Sensei Konzen let go of his wrist hastily.

"Alright, Goku, what the heck is going on here? I’ve begun to suspect you ever since I agreed to go on this date with you. Yes, I had a great time with you so far, but you have been acting strange when we were having lunch. You were grinning all the way and you had that strange piece of paper snuck into your bag after I’ve signed it. And now you’re trying to stamp my fingerprint on it. What are those papers anyway?"

"You…You knew?" Goku didn’t know where to start telling the truth.

"Do you think I’m that stupid like you, you bakasaru? Now I demand to know what the heck is going on around here! And what are those papers you’re so obsessed about?!"

Goku had no choice but to tell the truth. He told him about his crush for him, his leaving to Las Vegas with his foster parents and his plan to make himself get married to Sensei Konzen so that he would be able to stay and won’t miss Sensei Konzen a single day. Sensei Konzen listened in silence throughout his whole confession.

"I’m sorry I had to do this, sensei. But this is the only way I’m able to be by your side, and…and also the only way for you not to be absent in my mind. I’m…I’m doing this ‘coz I love you, sensei. Aishiteru, sensei…I’m willing to do anything to stay…" So saying, Goku sobbed, clear tears falling out of his eyes.

Sensei Konzen looked at his with a confused gaze, his heart skipping a beat and his face flushed once more. A child in love with him? He knew that almost all the girls, and boys, in the school were somewhat quite crazy about him, but he didn’t think that he would go that far just to be with him. He had no idea he had so much impact on a 15-year-old boy like Son Goku. This sacrifice he made over his pride and his life was really great. Was this really love, or just an obsession? He was so confused that he could only say one thing:

"Don’t be so childish. You should listen to your parents. Go to Las Vegas with them."

Goku could hardly believe his ears. After all he had done and after he had braved himself to tell Sensei Konzen the truth, he rejected him just like that.

"Sensei…Sensei no baka!!" Goku yelled in anger at Sensei Konzen, his heart feeling so betrayed. "Baka! Baka, baka, baka!!!"

His heart broke as he ran away from the park and back home, tears flowing more out of her eyes. He couldn’t believe that Sensei Konzen, his long-loved Konzen, actually said something so mean as that.

Sensei Konzen couldn’t help hating himself for saying that.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Wedding Trivia-Chp1

Started: 04-05-04 Completed: 04-11-04


Goku ran as fast as he could to get to class. There was no way he was going to miss out Sensei Konzen’s class. He was the school’s most handsome and cutest teacher and if he were ever to even miss out one second, he’d rather die.

He practically crashed into the classroom. There he was, Sensei Konzen, about to be ready for class. He grinned and said, "Gomenasai, sensei. I overslept. It won’t happen again…"

THWACK!!! His head was immediately hit by Sensei Konzen’s scrolled up textbook. His stern face looked even more handsome than ever as he boomed, "You bakasaru! How dare you come late for my class? Don’t you know that English is one of the most important subjects for your daily life? Now go and take your seat immediately!"

"Oh, how lucky for Son Goku to be hit on the head by Sensei Konzen! I want to be hit on the head too ~!"

Son Goku looked down awkwardly as he walked towards his seat. He wasn’t the only one having a crush with Sensei Genjo Sanzo a.k.a. Konzen (In this school, all teachers are required to have a biblical name, so Sanzo’s biblical name was Konzen). Almost everyone in Kamisama High was having a crush with Sensei Konzen, including the boys. Sensei Konzen was really, really handsome, dark and mysterious, almost like a blonde-haired, anime version of Prof. Severus Snape. Goku stared at Sensei Konzen as he started his English class. He had never paid attention to the class; it was all about Sensei Konzen. He couldn’t help it. He just had to stare at him. He was way too handsome beyond compare…

"Goku!" A hard pressing feeling on his cheeks shook him back to reality. He was shocked to see that Sensei Konzen’s face was directly in front of his, his deep violet eyes staring sternly and intently at his golden ones and his hands were holding his cheeks.

"Don’t stare at me during class, bakasaru! Pay attention! My lessons are on the board, not on my face!"

The silence was pressurizing. Before he knew it, Goku was bleeding in the nose out of over-excitement and immediately fainted at the spot. Needless to say, he was taken to the sickbay and had to miss Sensei Konzen’s class.

Lying on the sick bed, he touched his face in ecstasy. ‘He touched my cheeks!’ he thought. ‘He actually touched my cheeks! I’m never gonna wash my face ever again!’ As his thoughts continued to drift, he imagined himself together with Sensei Konzen living their lives in love and harmony. If only he could find the courage to tell Sensei Konzen how he really feel. Courage as in the courage to tell him that he was really, really in love with him and not afraid of the other fans mangling him into a pulp.

After school, he rushed home with a happy, ecstatic face, and couldn’t wait to jot down everything in his diary, when he noticed his foster parents were in a very happy mood. Even Hakryu, their pet dragon chirped happily as he flew towards his young master.

"Hey, Mama Hakkai. Hey, Papa Gojyo. What’s the big occasion?" Goku asked, catching and giving Hakryu a bear hug.

"We have such good news for you, my dear saru-chan," Cho Hakkai replied happily. "Your father has been promoted as a casino executive and will be transferred to Las Vegas!"

"That’s great, Papa Gojyo! Congratulation! So when are you going?"

"Next week, saru-chan! And we’re all going to move to Las Vegas!" Sha Gojyo replied with enthusiasm.

The whole atmosphere was silent for a while. Suddenly Goku burst his bubble and said, "Nani?! We’re all going?! Doushite nayo?!"

"Of course, saru-chan," Gojyo replied in an as-a-matter-of-fact way. "I cannot leave you and your Mama Hakkai here all alone. This is permanent. I won’t be coming back here anymore. We have to move."

"But…But what about my friends? What about my school? What about…" Goku stopped before he accidentally revealed Sensei Konzen. He had told his foster parents about having a crush with Sensei Konzen but he never told them that he was his English teacher.

"Don’t worry. It has all been taken care of," Gojyo reassured him. "My company is responsible for all the expenses of going to Las Vegas, and also the company branch in Las Vegas that I’m going to work in will take care of all the accommodation and your schooling expenses. We only have to move there. You have nothing to worry about. Think of all the free liquor I can get and the babes I can feast my eyes on! Oops, gomenasai, Hakkai-chan."

"You can make new friends at Las Vegas," Hakkai tried to make his adopted son feel better while letting Hakryu bite his husband’s ear. "I heard that there are a number of local people has gone there either to study or migrate. If you’re lucky, you’ll find some our fellow local friends. It’s gonna be alright, trust us on this."

Goku practically lost all interest in everything after that. How could he convince his parents that he didn’t want to leave because he didn’t want to leave Sensei Konzen? Sure, getting a promotion to Las Vegas was a real deal and he wouldn’t mind moving to a new environment, but he was talking his lifetime happiness here! How was he ever going to be happy if the person that he loved wasn’t around? He simply couldn’t bear to think of it.

Needless to say, he was in a glum mood the next day at school. Although Sensei Konzen’s appearance was a temporary solace to him, it wasn’t enough to cover up the glum. Sensei Konzen noticed and walked towards his seat, bonking him lightly on the head with his scrolled up textbook.

"Son Goku, bakasaru, daijobu deska? You’re not paying attention to my class."

"Uh, uh, hait, sensei. Daijobu," Goku replied, blushing as he looked away. Sensei Konzen still stood there, obviously not buying the ‘Daijobu’ routine.

"Forget about him, sensei," one of the girls voiced out. "He’s been like that the whole day. Even we couldn’t get it out of him. Just ignore him."

"Sensei, sensei! I heard that you are going out on a match-make date soon! Is it true?!" another girl from the far end of the classroom asked worriedly.

"Honto ni? Sensei Konzen is getting match-made? How can this be?" a boy exclaimed.

"What’s going on, sensei?"

"Tell me it’s not true!"

Goku, despite his glum, was interested to know about this match-making business. It’s very rare for people to still practice this traditional marriage method at this modern age.

"Yes, it’s true," Sensei Konzen’s answer sent a long heartbroken groan to all the girls and boys. He cleared his throat and continued, "The Headmistress Kanzeon Botsatsu got me into this, because she thinks that it’s a pity for someone like me not to get married at this age. But I will be declining Kanzeon Botsatsu’s offer."

All the students giggled in delight. Goku remembered something about match-making—his foster cousin Ririn went through it before, as in first a couple of get-to-know-you dates, a meet-the-parents sort of ritual, then the engagement ceremony, then the official wedding…

That’s when his little innocent mind just clicked. ‘What a brilliant idea!’ he thought. ‘I can just match-make myself with Sensei Konzen and get myself married to him! I’m not 16 years old yet, and 16 years old is the eligible age to marry, but I can wait! And there’s no rule saying that gays cannot get match-made and married! That’s it! I’m gonna match-make myself with Sensei Konzen!’

The plan was all set. First he pretended to ‘accidentally’ bump onto Kanzeon Botsatsu who was about to take the file of Sensei Konzen’s match-make date and switched his picture with the original picture. He then went to meet the original date, who was quite a charismatic woman, and pretended to be Sensei Konzen’s son and told her not to marry Sensei Konzen (works every time). Later he went by himself to the marriage affairs office to purchase a marriage application certificate, and gave Sensei Konzen a call impersonating Kanzeon Botsatsu saying that if he didn’t attend the match-make date, he would be fired.

The only thing for him to do now was to get a nice outfit to wear.

Friday, January 8, 2010

ALP Rocks My Socks~!

Thought I'd start off the new year with this entry.

Remember the comic strip The Roomies that I have been doing way back when, and that I said I did it because I was inspired by the comic strip Alien Loves Predator?

Well, I discovered it back then when I was still in university and it was friggin' hilarious! It's not what you think, for those perverts out there. It's about Abe (Alien) and Preston (Predator) and their lives in the busy city of New York. The main thing that impressed me was that the fact they had really killer awesome photomanipulation goodness to be able to create comic strips that make you laugh your sides off by using action figures and dolls with real-life pics for backgrounds. It's really that awesome.

At one point, the creator discontinued the series because they were working on a new comic strip series, so I was happy to have what my collection had. Then, out of whim, this year, I decided to check for fun to see if they had continued it, sure to myself that they hadn't, but I was proven wrong. They had recontinued the series with fantabulous new arcs! OMG! And they've already continued it since last year! I had a year's worth of comics needing to catch up!

But it was great. I can finally enjoy a good wholesome ALP again, thanks to my constant wandering impulsive mind XD And maybe if lucky, they'll inspire me to do another comic strip series like The Roomies again, since my fiance has action figures abundant.

Those who are interested, feel free to click on the banner above and enjoy some ALP laughing fun!

Monday, January 4, 2010

The 'Just A' Series-Part 3


“Anything, Ozzie?”

OJ shook his head as he came out of the bathroom. Drix smiled wryly as he laid his hand on OJ’s head. OJ tried his best not to look disappointed over the fruitless result.

5 years have passed since their marriage tied Drix and OJ together. They lived in a perfect little condominium in Arm Lane, sharing good times together like wedded couples should be. They were given the title ‘Best Couple of FPD’ by the men of the FPD, and Kiaran Oxide, the new cell on the force, just love hanging around them.

There’s one small problem though of being together. They both were males and it was plain to see that OJ and Drix cannot have children of their own.

It’s not that they never tried. They tried a number of times, from consulting the doctors to eating certain food to create a possibility. None of them worked. OJ almost got sick a few times due to the side effects of the pregnancy medication, but no baby appeared. They tried to accept the fact that they’ll remain childless for the rest of their lives, but when they saw other couples who bring their children for family outings, they couldn’t help wanting one of their own.

“If I could just try a little harder, do more tests,” OJ said wishfully as he sat on the bed, “maybe we could work it out.”

“It’s alright, Ozzie,” Drix comforted his husband, “it’s not your fault. We can try other ways. I can’t risk you getting sick again.”

“Like what?” OJ was out of options.

“We can adopt. I heard that the Artery Cottage Orphanage has a lot of young red blood cells ready to be adopted.”

“I don’t know…” The idea of not having a child of the same fluid-line made OJ quite uneasy.

“It’s for the best, Ozzie. Face it; we can never create our own child. It’s a biological fact. We can adopt a baby if you wanna start from Square One. Whaddaya say?”

“Well…” OJ tried to brighten up his mood, “if it’s OK with you, yeah, I’d like a baby to start with.”

“Whatever you like, I’ll be pleased with it too,” Drix smiled and kissed OJ’s forehead. “I’ll try to contact the orphanage for an appointment, OK?”

OJ nodded. Drix kissed him again and went to the bathroom to shower. He filled up the bath tub and asked slyly, “So, Ozzie. You coming in with me or what?”

OJ smiled weakly as he went into the bathroom, reducing himself into nakedness. Drix laughed naughtily, swept him off his feet and dunked him into the bath tub. OJ’s body temperature heated up the water in the tub to lukewarm. Drix jumped in and started fondling his white blood cell’s warm glowing body seductively. OJ moaned, his senses tingled with pleasure.

Hot saucy blushes ensured.

“Good morning, Senior Jones!” Kiaran greeted cheerfully as he pranced towards OJ and Drix. “And to you too, Senior Drixenol!”

“Mornin’, Kiaran,” OJ returned his greeting. Drix nodded in acknowledgement.

“Are there any cases today?” OJ asked.

“Nope, not yet, but I got something for you!” Kiaran replied, smiling really wide.

“No wonder you’re exceptionally cheerful today,” Drix sat on OJ’s office couch. “What is it that you’ve got?”

“For Senior Jones’ eyes only!” Kiaran gave him a playful none-of-your-business look, then turned back to OJ and said, “I’ll give it to you during coffee break. Come alone!”

OJ and Drix were surprised at Kiaran’s sudden enthusiasm. Maybe he had a bad case of adrenaline overdose. Drix nodded when OJ gave him a whaddaya-think look. He mouthed the words, “Humour him.”

OJ grinned and turned to his junior, “Yeah, sure! Where’ll we meet?”

“At the lockers room. Be there and come alone, you hear me? ALONE!” Kiaran kept stressing the last word, glaring warningly at Drix. Drix raised both his hands as a promise that he won’t cheat. Kiaran nodded in satisfaction before dashing off to do his morning routine of ordering coffee for everybody in the FPD.

“What is that cell up to?” OJ raised an eyebrow curiously at Kiaran who was beginning to surprise everybody with his extraordinary cheerful attitude.

“You know juniors. They’re just full of surprises,” Drix said, going through a few files of already solved cases laid on OJ’s table.

“Then let’s pray to Frank that his surprise doesn’t give me a heart attack or something!”

“All right, Kiaran. What’s the surprise?”

OJ came to the lockers room as promised. Drix had no intention to follow OJ and eavesdrop about the whole mystery thing—he had better things to attend to.

“Senior Jones! You’re finally here!” Kiaran exclaimed happily as he rushed out from behind his locker. He had something behind his back and looked almost anxious to show it to him.

“So what’s the deal here? What do you want to show me?”

“Did you come alone?” Kiaran asked, craning his neck to look behind OJ. OJ rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I came alone. Drix’s not around.”

“Are you sure?” Kiaran was still skeptical.

“Just get this show on the road!”

“Alright! Alright!” Kiaran laughed at OJ’s anxiety and produced the thing he was hiding. “Tadaa~~!”

OJ raised an eyebrow when he saw what Kiaran showed him. It looked like a gun the size of a pen. Its metallic features shone like a jewel under the lights of the locker room. The bottom part of the gun was transparent and OJ could see gooey-looking greenish-blue fluid inside the gun.

“What is this thing?” OJ lowered his shades and peered into the gun with his haunting yellow eyes. Kiaran was all smiles.

“If you must know, Senior Jones, this is your future!”

“My future? What in the name of Frank are you talking about, Kia?”

“You and Senior Drix are planning to have a family now, aren’t you?”

“Well…yeah!” OJ replied, quite embarrassed and surprised at Kiaran’s sudden question. “How did you know?!”

“I have my ways, Senior Jones, I’m a professional,” Kiaran said proudly. “Anyway, since you’re a cell and he’s a pill and both of you are guys, your dream family is not likely to exist, right? So, I went to my god-uncle who works at the Penis Plant and got this baby here.”

“What is this exactly?” OJ was all ears now.

“This gun here is designed to take certain DNA samples of another person and sort of combine with all those thing-a-majigure or some sort. My god-uncle explained a lot of crap that I don’t really understand anyway. The point is you use this to take Senior Drixenol’s DNA and you’re beginning your first step in achieving your goal.”

“You’re talking crazy here, Kia,” OJ sort of got the idea but was afraid to jump into conclusions. “Why would I need Drix’s DNA?”

“Don’t you get it?” Kiaran was not at all offended by OJ’s ignorance. “I’m doing you a great favour! I’m helping you and Senior Drixenol to create a baby of your own! You want to have a son or daughter of your own fluid-line now, don’t you?”

OJ was dumbstruck. His insides were doing flip-flops at upon hearing Kiaran’s words. A child of their very own! This was what he and Drix had been trying to do for the past 5 years! Now that the opportunity was standing in front of him, screaming at his face, how could he resist?

“Are you sure about this, Kia?” OJ trembled as he spoke. “I’m gonna be pregnant and have Drix’s kid and all?”

“I swear to Frank that I got it all covered. My god-uncle is willing to help. He agreed there and then to put up with the procedure. It had been a while since he had a challenging experiment, not to mention an experiment such as this.”

“So…what am I supposed to do again?”

Softly, Kiaran explained to OJ how to use the mini-gun that might yet again change the course of OJ’s life.

Drix massaged his temples after reading through a huge score of files. It wasn’t easy scanning almost a dozen and a half files of cases involving germs, bacteria and viruses, let alone read them word by word. Drix groaned, tired and frustrated.

“You worked too much, Drix, let it rest,” OJ said, carrying a tall glass of lymph juice. “Here, have a drink.”

“Thanks,” Drix replied, taking the glass and drained it of its contents. He sighed in satisfaction and turned to his white blood cell husband. “You make the best drink anytime.”

“Well, that doesn’t make me your servant, you know.”

“Obviously not,” Drix grinned as he hugged OJ’s waist. “You’re my little sex bomb.”

“I’m not,” OJ pretended to be offended.

“Oh, yes, you are. My little sex bomb…” Drix drowned his last word by sniffing OJ’s neck. He carried OJ into the bedroom and threw him on the bed, kissing and nibbling him as he undressed his sexy white blood cell. OJ moaned and sighed in pleasure as Drix caressed and played seductively at his naked body. He was drowned into Drix’s suavity yet again, forgetting everything else but Drix as they stepped into the dangerous lane of sex and passion…

The couple collapsed in a careless heap, panting, obviously tired but satisfied of their love-making ‘session’. Drix stroked OJ’s warm face.

“I was kinda busy today that I hadn’t the time to call the orphanage. I’ll call as soon as I’m free, OK?”

OJ almost had a heart attack when Drix mentioned the orphanage. Not that he was being cruel—he had his share of being a helpless child when his family faced a phase of poverty—but he still couldn’t accept the fact that he and Drix are going bring home someone who didn’t really belong to them at all. ‘No!’ OJ thought, ‘I’m not going to let this chance of having a purely Ozzie\Drix-borne child in our family! It’s now or never!’

“It’s OK, Drix,” OJ said as he reached for the mini-gun he hid this evening in his dresser near the bed, “you take all the time you want. I’m not going to rush you. You’re already overworked.”

“You really know how to ease my burden, Ozzie. I’m…Ouch!”

In the dark, OJ laid the mouthpiece of the gun onto Drix’s arm and pulled the trigger. At Drix’s yell, OJ quickly hid the gun under his pillow, hoping that Drix’s eyesight in the dark is not as good as OJ’s newly improved eyes. Luckily, Drix was too busy minding his own arm to notice it.

“What is it, Drix?” OJ pretended to be anxious and concerned about Drix.

“Something bit me! Damn! I hope nothing’s serious.”

“I guess it’s those bed micro-organisms. They can be nuisance sometimes. I’ll disinfect this bed in the morning.”

“You’d better! By the way, what did Kiaran show you this evening? Is it really that special as he described it to be?”

“Ina way, yes. But nothing too peculiar, really. Just plain old teenage fanatic trend.”

OJ kissed Drix deeply to stop him from asking further questions.

OJ met Kiaran the next day during coffee break at the lockers room. He, of course, went there alone, without Drix knowing.

“You got his DNA?” Kiaran asked, hopeful.

“I guess so. I’m still blur about this little thing here,” OJ took out the mini-gun and handed it to Kiaran. Kiaran examined the goo inside the gun and grinned.

“Yup, you got his DNA alright. You see this red and yellow glowing micro-organism here?”

OJ looked at where Kiaran was pointing. Sure enough, there was a tablet-like red and yellow micro-organism swimming around the goo covered by a layer of bright film.

“Holy spit! Even his DNA looks like a cold pill!” OJ was impressed. “What’s that film around it?”

“That’s to keep it sterilized until further procedures are done,” Kiaran explained, aiming the gun at OJ’s arm. “Now, your turn.”

OJ rolled up his sleeve to produce his bare bluish-red membrane arm. Kiaran placed the gun’s claw-like mouthpiece onto the arm and pulled the trigger. In a second, the claw-like mouthpiece shrank back into the gun, taking a tiny piece of OJ’s arm with it. OJ winced, gritting his teeth.

“So that’s how Drix felt when I took his DNA,” OJ said as the hole in his arm regenerated itself back to normal. He looked into the goo in the gun and saw his DNA being wrapped up in film before swimming together with Drix’s DNA.

“Now all we have to do is take it to my god-uncle at the Penis Plant,” Kiaran pocketed the gun. “You have to come with me, though.”

“Why?” OJ put on his shades, covering his yellow eyes.

“’Coz we’re gonna make you a ‘mother’!”

The Penis Plant was extraordinarily high-tech. even the Mayor’s office couldn’t compete with this. It was filled with loads of technological gadgets that were unable to be comprehended. OJ watched in awe as dozens upon dozens of sperms were produced in glass pillars in such a short time.

Too bad Frank hadn’t the time to ‘get rid’ of all the ‘excess’. It was pretty crowded there.

‘Kiaran! My favourite nephew! Glad to see you again so soon!”

Kiaran was greeted by a tall purple cell with a thick moustache. He wore a long white scientist robe and looked very clever indeed. OJ grinned. Somehow that scientist looked like the Chief, only slimmer.

“And you must be the lucky cell Osmosis Jones,” the scientist shook OJ’s hand. “Oh, you’re a hot baby. Read about you in the head lines with that pill of yours. I tell you, my missus broke in tears when she saw how romantic that Drixenol guy proposed to you. Women! Always the sentimental ones, I always say…”

“Uhh, Senior Jones. My god-uncle, Mr. Dominic Patogen,” Kiaran cut in, introducing OJ to the mad scientist.

“Just call me Dome,” Dome smiled cheerfully. “Any friend of Kiaran is a friend of mine. So, Kiaran, you got their DNA?”

Kiaran took out the gun and handed it to Dome. He examined it and nodded in approval.

“Good, good, very good! Let’s get started, shall we? Come along, Jones, to the lab.”

OJ and Kiaran followed Dome from behind. They entered his lab (which stank of disinfectant) and were awed by the amount of chemicals and books in shelves he had. Dome ordered OJ to remove his clothes and sit on the operation table. OJ obeyed. As he did as he was told, he saw Dome doing a lot of complicated stuff with his and Drix’s DNA. With his yellow eyes, he saw him dripping yellow fluids on a palette, pouring the goo from the gun onto the yellow fluid, looking through his microscopic glasses, and a number of things OJ was beginning to lose interest in. finally he finished off by pouring the whole mess into a test tube. After alteration, the concoction looked grayish-blue.

“At last, it’s completed!” Dome exclaimed happily, wiping his brow with a hanky. “Check it out, Jones, your baby.”

OJ stared at the test tube, feeling doubtful.

“Don’t worry, Jones. When my god-nephew told me about your idea of having a kid, I did dozens of tests straightaway. I know what I’m doing.”

“What did you just do?” OJ was interested.

“Well, to make it simple, I combined your DNA and his DNA together and mixed some certain chemicals to make it regenerate itself and become a whole new independent cell. It’s growing now, and all we need to do is inject it into somewhere hollow in you. Let’s see…”

Dome took out a scanner and scanned through OJ’s abdomen. A few moments later, he found a spot right in the middle and smiled. He took the test tube containing the generating cell and took a syringe.

“This might hurt a little,” Dome warned, pulling the syringe to take in the cell.

“Do it, Dome. I’m ready,” OJ said as he lay down on the operating table. It’s now or never. There’s no turning back anymore.

Dome inserted the needle into OJ’s abdomen. OJ winced. Kiaran laid his hands on his shoulders to calm him down. The cell was injected. OJ gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as he felt the pressure in his abdomen building. Slowly Dome took out the syringe. It was finally over.

“You can get up and take a look if you want.”

OJ, with Kiaran’s help, slowly sat up. Dome took a large mirror and brought it in front of OJ. OJ stared at his reflection and widened his eyes in wonder.

There, in his abdomen, was the grayish-blue cell, circling around in him, generating and dividing itself into a whole new being. It had a glow of its own, probably inherited by OJ’s own body glow. OJ could see a few hints of red and yellow as it continued circling in him. It was their child alright.

“How long will I be pregnant?” OJ asked.

“About 2 or 3 month before it’s ready to be born,” Dome said. “You’re not a she-cell, so you are most likely to take a longer time period. In the mean time, you must come to me every 2 weeks to do a check-up to see how the baby goes. You understand?”

OJ nodded. He couldn’t care less anymore. He finally had his and Drix’s child. He’s ready to accept any treatment that can ensure their child’s safety.

“Well, I guess I have to say what we all want to say,” Dome chided cheerfully, feeling proud of his success. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.”

“Where have you been, Ozzie?” Drix asked when OJ came back home. “I was so worried!”

OJ wrapped his jacket tighter and said, “I’ve been…well, somewhere. Nothing to worry about.”

“I’ve ordered take-out. You want some?”

“Yeah, sure,” OJ said as he followed Drix into the dining room. Drix ordered cheese boogers and mucus chips with lymph coke to go with. All of a sudden, the sight of fast food made him want to heave. He immediately rushed to the bathroom and puked his guts out. Drix was taken by surprise. He went to the bathroom and knocked the door.

“Ozzie, you OK?”

OJ heaved again.

“Guess not. I’m coming in then.”

“No!” OJ yelled sickly from inside. “Don’t! I’m OK! I just…” OJ couldn’t finish his words as he felt his insides jumping up to his throat. He heaved again.

“I don’t care, I’m coming in!” Drix insisted s he opened the bathroom door. “Alright, cold pill coming thru’. What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” OJ groaned, his face still in the toilet bowl, “no problem at all.”

“You look awful,” Drix said as he patted OJ on the back. “Was it something you ate before?”

“No…it was…” OJ hesitated. He didn’t know if he should tell Drix about the baby. “It was nothing.”

“Ozzie, what happened?” Drix took hold of OJ’s shoulders, staring intently at his eyes. “You’re hiding something from me. I know it. Tell me, Ozzie.”

“I…I don’t know…” OJ was still hesitant. He was afraid of Drix’s reaction to the news.

“Ozzie, whatever happens, I’m with you all the way. I promise.”

OJ was half-convinced. Will he be happy? Will he be outraged? He had to tell him somehow. OJ finally made his decision. It’s now or never.

“You better promise you won’t freak out,” OJ warned as he removed his jacket.

“I promise,” Drix grinned.

OJ lifted up his shirt to show Drix the baby. It was still generating and dividing, progressing on forming into a full being. The face of the baby was quite visible. Drix gaped at the baby in him.

“O…Ozzie…? What…?”

“It’s our baby,” OJ replied sheepishly, scratching his chin. “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

“Our…But…You…How…?” Drix was at lost of words.

OJ explained as simple as possible how the whole procedure went. Drix blinked in disbelief as he heard every word coming out of OJ’s mouth.

“So that’s it,” OJ finished his explanation. “We did it, Drix! We have a baby of our own! Isn’t it wonderful? You don’t have to go through all the complications of adopting…”

Drix stood up abruptly and glided out of the bathroom. OJ was taken aback. What’s going on? Was he upset? Was he angry about it? Maybe he wanted to adopt all along but was backfired by OJ’s inconsiderate act. OJ was so overwhelmed and shocked by Drix’s sudden reaction that he heaved even more, crying as he puked his guts out again.

After cleaning himself, OJ peeked out of the bathroom. Drix was sitting on the bed, his hands covering his face. OJ sighed sadly s he stepped out of the bathroom. He sat beside Drix and tried to hold back his tears as he comforted him.

“I’m sorry, Drix. I…should’ve told you earlier about my plan. I’m sorry I did all this without asking you first…I…If…If it really makes you feel better…I…I’ll…I’ll abort this baby…”

All of a sudden, Drix grabbed OJ and hugged him close to his chest. For a split second there, OJ saw tears flowing out of Drix’s eyes. He felt Drix shook and sobbed as he held him tight.

“D…Drix?” OJ was surprised.

“Don’t. Don’t abort our baby,” Drix whispered, his voice trembling.

“I…I thought you’re mad about…”

“No! No, I’m not! I’m just happy! I’m too happy; I couldn’t contain myself! I don’t wanna break down in front of you!”

“Then…our baby…?”

“Yes, I’m glad! I am so glad! Oh Frank, I don’t know what to say! We’re gonna be parents! I love you, Ozzie, I love you!”

“I love you too,” OJ whispered as he let his tears fall freely down his cheeks. They kissed passionately, congratulating each other on being newly parents-to-be. Drix laid his hand on OJ’s abdomen, feeling the warm heat of the glowing baby.

The night was peaceful.

“Everything a-OK for now, Jones.”

OJ went for his first 2-week check-up, accompanied by Kiaran ND Drix. The baby inside OJ wasn’t circling anymore. It somehow stayed put, beginning to form somewhat clearer features of its body. OJ smiled at the outcome.

“The baby’s doing really well, Jones,” Dome commented as he rummaged through a huge incubator. “That kid’s a real fighter!”

“Just like his parents,” Kiaran replied, feeling very cheerful indeed. “Both of them are pretty much a killer!”

“Whatever,” OJ didn’t really bother about other people’s thoughts anymore, now that he’s pregnant and having Drix by his side.

“Here, Jones. I got something for the baby,” Dome said as he took a large box filled with test tubes. Inside the test tubes were greenish-blue liquid that didn’t seem very friendly-looking.

“What in the name of Frank is that?” OJ asked.

“It’s Ice Film,” Dome replied, taking out one of the test tubes. “I have run tests and found out that your body temperature, although alterable, is still too high for the baby to take. This film juice here will build a protective layer around the baby so that you don’t start burning it into a crisp.”

OJ and Drix eyed at the green fluid in the test tube warily. OJ still thought it looked scary and unfriendly.

“Come on, Jones, drink up. The baby’s the most important issue now.”

OJ grimaced as he took the test tube. With one gulp, he swallowed the fluid down. It felt icy and tingly in his throat, like a mint cough drop would taste like. Slowly, he felt the coldness spread in his stomach. He looked down to see the green fluid actually wrapped his baby up. For once he felt coldness inside him since his infection by Thrax.

“That’s a good boy. Now, you have to drink it every 3 hours to keep it cold and protected. One forgotten tube and it’ll be history for the little critter.”

“I’ll set the timer,” Drix said as he started pressing buttons on his hand cannon. OJ smiled wekly and shook his head. Drix always thought about everything and worried about everything ever since he was pregnant. Not that he didn’t want to be pampered, but sometimes Drix takes things too seriously.

“You have any idea about it being a boy or a girl?” Drix asked after setting the timer on his hand cannon.

“No. Not yet. I don’t think I will ever have an idea,” Dome said as he closed his incubator. “It never is easy to determine the sex of a cell until it is born. I guess you’ll just have to wait.”

“I don’t mind waiting,” OJ replied as he laid his hands on his abdomen, going all smiles.

“I mind,” Drix pouted.

“Patience is virtue, Senior Drixenol,” Kiaran pointed, acting like a philosopher.


Drix’s timer went off. He took out a test tube and called, “Ozzie, time to drink your formula!”

“Oh, man! Do I have to?” OJ whined reluctantly.

Drix was constantly bossing OJ around, expecting him to drink the unfriendly Ice Film every 3 hours. Everyone in the FPD knew about OJ’s pregnancy, thanks to Drix’s conspicuous attitude of reminding OJ to drink the film juice. OJ was called into the Chief’s office and was given desk jobs until the baby’s born. OJ groaned, feeling embarrassed. He hated desk jobs. He loved action and adventure, not sticking his butt on chairs typing silly reports and documents.

If Kiaran hadn’t brighten things up for him, OJ would’ve become sulky at Drix all day. “Just be thankful no one else is gonna read about you in the headlines,” he said.

Now, at home, Drix was still bossing OJ around. OJ rolled his eyes as he took the test tube and drank it. So far, he had been going on his regular check-ups and the baby has always turned out fine.

“I don’t see why I have to keep drinking this cold stuff,” OJ complained as he dumped the test tube into the trash can. “Dome said the baby is doing OK.”

“It’s because of this stuff that makes our baby OK,” Drix said, folding his arms. “Don’t underestimate the power of medicine.”

“Yeah. You’re a medicine yourself.”

“Cold pill, to be exact.”

“What are we gonna name this little critter when it’s born?” OJ asked as he sat in front of the TV watching a sitcom.

“I haven’t thought about that,” Drix sat beside OJ, putting his arm across his shoulders. “What do you have in mind?”

“Well…I was thinking of naming it Kiaran if it’s a boy, ‘coz Kia did help out a lot in getting us our kid.”

“Hmm…Naming him after our junior,” Drix considered. “That’s a good way to honour him for all his effort on helping us. I like it.”

“Your turn. What will you name it if it’s a girl?”

“Hmm…I think I’ll name her after my sister, Drixena. I think she’ll like it.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister!” OJ was surprised at this new side of his husband.

“I do. But, like I told you, in my side of the world, competition is lethal. Somehow we even wonder whether we’re really siblings.”

“How does she look like?”

Drix rushed off to get his photo album. He flipped through the pages and pointed at a red and yellow pill who was standing beside him during Graduation Day. She didn’t look bulky and built, like Drix. She had a sexy body figure, with a very sweet smile, unlike the solemn-looking Drix. There were a few similarities between the siblings though; the red and yellow complexion and the bubble-jet feet.

“She’s so pretty!” OJ exclaimed, amazed. “Is she really your sister?”

“Everyone at college asked me the same question,” Drix rolled his eyes helplessly.

They spent the whole evening looking at Drix’s photo album until the next Ice Film intake.

Things looked pretty busy in the FPD. The number of germs and bacteria brought in were quite a lot. OJ looked over from his desk in wonder. It’s been a while since the FPD have been working around the clock.

“What’s with all the germs, Kia?” OJ asked as he stopped typing to take a closer look, curious.

“Frank’s at it again with his unhealthy diet of raw undone food and moldy bread,” Kiaran replied, shaking his head in disgust. “Looks like our Mayor has lost his effect on him.”

“Odd,” Drix tapped his lip with a concerned look on his face. “I thought his daughter Shane was making progress in shaping up Frank. As far as I’m concerned, Mayor Colonic is constantly monitoring Shane’s move and making Frank’s decisions. He should be doing well by now.”

“Old habits die hard, Drix,” OJ grinned as he got up and stepped out of his office. “I’ve been here long enough to know that Frank’s gonna start his old habits any time soon, no matter how near to death they’d take him.”

“Senior Jones, you should not be out there,” Kiaran warned. “There are a hoard of germs and bacteria out there that haven’t been registered in yet.”

“Relax, Kia. I’m just going out to the vending machine to get some lymph coke for us,” OJ said coolly, without a hint of worry in his tone.

“Kiaran’s right,” Drix said, his face showing a I-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this look, “maybe you should stay in the office. I’ll go get the coke.”

“Don’t worry, Drix, I’ll be fine! Stop babying me already! It’s just a short distance from here. How hard can it be?”

Without letting his husband Drix and Kiaran give out anymore protests, OJ walked swiftly out of the office and went towards the vending machine. He dropped a few coins and got himself three cans of lymph coke. As he walked back to his office, someone said in a raspy voice, “Hey, aren’t you Osmosis Jones?”

OJ turned to face the owner of the voice. Beside him, with his hands cuffed, sat an earth-green bacterium glaring at him with a very vicious-looking red eye. His body was covered with loads of black spots and he didn’t look too friendly to OJ.

“Who wants to know?” OJ asked, looking curiously at the bacterium as if he had seen him somewhere before.

“Don’t you remember me, Jones?” The bacterium asked, glaring hotly at OJ. “I’m the brother of the seafood bacteria you arrested a long time ago.”

“Oooohh…I remember you! You’re Shanks, right? Shunks’ brother?” OJ recalled the scene when he arrested a pair of bacteria which hijacked a sushi and slipped into Frank. They weren’t the very harmful type but the older brother, Shunks, committed a crime which endangered almost a lot of red blood cells. The younger, Shanks had no part of the crime and, of course, had no idea that his brother did this evil deed, so he begged OJ to release him. Shunks refused to be taken behind bars, so he held OJ’s hand that has the gun and pull the trigger. He died right in front of everybody present.

“What brings you here, Shanks? Released a few spores or something?” OJ asked.

“It took me so long to get here, to meet you face to face!” Shanks stood up abruptly and rammed his body at OJ, sending him crashing onto the counter. The lymph coke he was carrying scattered all over the place.

“You son of a paramecium! You fucking spore! If it weren’t for you, my brother wouldn’t have chosen to kill himself! I hate you!! It’s all your fault my brother’s dead!! I want you dead! Die, Jones, DIE!!!”

Shanks kicked him over and over again, stepping on him in pure hatred. OJ curled himself up to keep him from doing any further damage. The other white blood cells of the FPD tried to apprehend him but he was too big for them to stop. Finally, before Shanks could hurt him more, he was iced on the feet by Drix’s hand cannon. Shanks fell over and the men jumped on him, holding him down.

“You OK, Ozzie?” Drix helped OJ up on his feet.

“I…I guess so…” OJ tried to stand up. He began to worry when he felt something wrong inside him. Was it…?

“Eat this, Jones!” Shanks gave OJ a kick on the abdomen when the men brought the bacteria back on his feet. OJ gasped as he felt a terrible jab not only from Shanks’ kick, but also inside his abdomen. The pain was excruciating—so painful that OJ couldn’t get up and fell to the floor again.

“Ozzie?” Drix was worried. OJ gritted his teeth and hugged his abdomen tight.

“Oow… the…the baby…” Tears began to flow out of his eyes. He couldn’t stand the pain, and he surely couldn’t find the strength to face the fact that something was happening to their baby.

“Oh no! You bastard!” Drix yelled, aiming a punch at Shanks. “Did you know what you have done?!”

“Senior Drixenol!” Kiaran came along and propped OJ’s head. “We’d better take him to Uncle Dome now! He doesn’t look too good.”

Drix wanted to hit the bacteria some more but the baby was at stake. He carried him in his arms and rushed to the car. The men of FPD watched anxiously as Kiaran took the wheel and drove off down to the road leading to the Penis Plant. Even the Chief who saw everything from his office prayed to Frank that everything will be OK.

“Oww…It hurts, man! Damn it, it hurts!” OJ whined painfully. “Our baby…Drix, our baby…!”

“Everything’s gonna be fine, Ozzie, I’m here. You’re gonna be OK,” Drix held OJ close, comforting him and praying for Frank to have mercy over their child.

“Holy sputum! What the heck happened here, Kiaran?” Dome exclaimed when he saw Drix and Kiaran barged into his lab with OJ in Drix’s arms, groaning and moaning as he clutched his abdomen.

“We had a few complications at the FPD, Uncle Dome. Senior Jones was attacked,” Kiaran explained as he helped Drix lay OJ on the operation table. OJ curled up again, his face wet with sweat and tears at upon holding the terrible pain in his abdomen.

“Dome, please,” Drix begged. “You gotta help him. He was kicked right on the spot. I’m afraid…”

“Don’t say it, Drix, please!! Don’t say it!! Please…don’t…” OJ was trying to deny the possibility. “Just help me…Please, Dome…it hurts…”

“I’ll try,” Dome replied, advancing towards OJ. He put a little pressure with his fingers on OJ’s abdomen, checking the baby. Moments later, he looked up and said solemnly, “He has to go on labour now. The baby is ready to be born.”

“Hang in there, Ozzie, I’m right here.”

OJ was sitting on the operation table, panting and gasping as he tried to hold on to the pain. He was stripped naked with only a blanket to cover the lower part of his body. Drix was behind OJ, hugging him from that position, and Dome was in front of OJ, clasping his hands.

“Hang on, Jones, hang on. Don’t panic. Just relax. It’ll be all over soon,” Dome coached as he held OJ’s hands tighter. OJ gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes occasionally, still trying to hang on to the pain. Kiaran stood beside the trio, waiting with a towel in his hands.

“It’s coming! It’s coming! Hang in there, Jones!”

The baby inside OJ’s abdomen was squeezing itself out. OJ screamed out loud in pain, fidgeting everywhere and was in the verge of tossing and turning. Drix held him tight to keep him in place, yelling at him not to move. Dome held his hands even tighter to make him stay still. The baby inside him squeezed out even more, stretching itself out of OJ’s abdomen, beginning to break the skin membrane. OJ screamed even more. Kiaran winced as he shrank further and further away from the background.


“Hold on, Jones, hold on! It’s almost over,” Dome encouraged the screaming OJ. The skin membrane has already split, but still not enough to force the baby out.

“Drix, help me~~!!! It hurts!! HELP ME, PLEASE~~!!!” OJ wailed. He never felt so degraded like this before—a tough, street smart guy crying like a baby for help. And in front of his own junior! OJ couldn’t stop crying or letting his tears fall like rain down his face, no matter how he tried.

“It’s alright, Ozzie, I’m right here with you,” Drix whispered, comforting OJ as much as he could. “I’m right by your side. Just hang on and relax. Let Dome take care of this. It’s alright.”

OJ let out another scream as his skin membrane split even wider. It wasn’t the usual dividing he used to do during his days as a cop. Even dividing and splitting his body into half or morphing into other beings didn’t hurt that bad. The baby was inching its way out of OJ’s body. OJ could feel the top part of the baby touching his thighs. He panted and gasped, gritting his teeth as he tried to hang on to the pain.

“Just keep holding on, OK, Jones? I’m gonna help you get the baby out,” Dome said as he let go of OJ’s hands. He took hold of the baby and slowly inched it out of the abdomen. With a few good pull, the baby finally slid out of OJ and landed on his thighs. OJ was trying hard not to scream when the baby slid out of him but he couldn’t help letting out a few whines and gagging.

“Kiaran, get me a scalpel,” Dome ordered, “and hand me the towel.”

Kiaran obeyed. Dome took the towel and wiped the excess goo off the baby. OJ opened his eyes weakly as his split membrane regenerated itself back to normal. Kiaran found the scalpel and handed it to Dome. Drix gazed in anxiety, fearing for the baby’s safety. Dome took the scalpel and cut slowly through the thin film that wrapped the baby. It was the film that OJ has been drinking in for the past 3 months.

“Oh, my Frank!” Dome exclaimed after he saw what was inside the thin film. His eyes widened in wonder.

“What is it, Dome? Anything wrong?” Drix was starting to get worried. OJ was too tired to speak, but he was obviously anxious too.

“Your kid is doing fine,” Dome replied in suppressed happiness, “in fact they’re perfectly OK! They really are a pair of fighters like you!”


Dome slipped his hands into the film and took out not one cell, but two bawling baby cells. One had OJ’s bluish-red complexion, glowing steadily in sky-blue. The other had Drix’s red and yellow complexion (which means the inside was red and the skin membrane outside was yellow—it’s still a cell, after all) and was also glowing steadily in sun-yellow. OJ and Drix gaped in awe.

“It’s both a boy and a girl,” Dome announced. “You guys have twins! This is the rarest of the rare! You’re the only one to have this sort of breed!”

“D…Drix…we…we have twins…?” OJ said weakly. Drix was at lost of words. He could only nod. OJ outstretched his arms, wanting to hold the babies. Dome, after cleaning the babies, handed them to OJ. OJ cradled them in his arms, gazing at them lovingly.

“Oh, my babies…hey there…Papa’s here…” OJ whispered. The babies gurgled, as if they knew who was calling them. Drix took one of the twins and held it with tender care, as if one small move would squelch it into nothingness.

“Looks like we can use both the names we gave them now,” Drix said. OJ nodded weakly as Kiaran helped OJ to dress into his patient clothes.

“I’ve contacted the medical crew to come and fetch you guys, so that you and the babies can get a thorough check-up. Jones lost quite a lot of fluids there,” Dome said as he hung up the telephone.

“Thanks, Dome, for everything,” Drix thanked the scientist sincerely. OJ has already fallen asleep out of fatigue, his arms holding possessively on the she-baby cell.

“Don’t mention it,” Dome replied. “Glad to help out. You’ve brought fun to my monotonous job here anyway.”

“So, what are you gonna name them?” Kiaran asked, helping out to wrap the babies. “Any ideas?”

“We’ve already got names,” Drix said proudly. “The boy will be named Kiaran Jr. Jones Methamphedamine and the girl will be named Drixena-Benzo Jones Methamphedamine.”

“Wow! That’s a mouthful! But it’s cool,” Kiaran said at first, then stopped whatever he was doing and asked, “Did you say you’re naming the boy Kiaran?”

The next day, OJ was visited by the men of FPD, including the Chief, at the hospital. Kiaran announced proudly that he was made a god-father to the twins.

“Does that mean we’re also getting a share at taking of taking care of the twins?” The Chief asked hopefully, tickling Kiaran Jr.

“Sure,” OJ said in his usual cool way, after having a good night sleep. “You can take care of them anytime you want. You’re all family to him. Right, Drix?”

Drix nodded, watching as the other men of the FPD fussing over the twins. Reporters did come last night to get the scoop of the story when they heard wind about OJ having babies, but the medical team and Drix, joined by Kiaran, shooed them all away. OJ didn’t care about the reporters; he had his eyes only for his twin cells now. Drix admired the way OJ put up with these things and gave him a deep, passionate kiss, much to Kiaran’s awkwardness.

Since then, the FPD became the second home of the twins.