Mulan: A Parody-Chp11

CHAPTER 11 – THE TENSAI WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL

Once inside, they all tried to blend in with the surrounding. They came across some male concubines who were hiding in their own chambers trying to keep out of sight from the Shirogane Clan members who were walking around in search of any intruders. Sakuragi hushed them and whispered their plans to them. One of the male concubines, Anta, offered them some of their rich garments for them to wear. After wearing the clothes, Haroko, Fujii and Yuki really sell out like a true man. Sakuragi grinned at the sight of them.

Soon they put their plan into action. First they come out chattering as if they had no idea about the sudden invasion. They passed by our famous Sendoh and Kyota and almost immediately, Sakuragi’s red hair and tall figure stood out from the rest. Sendoh and Kyota approached him as quick as a flash.
“Hello, my little redhead,” Sendoh said with a charming smile on his face. “Fancy seeing you here among the Queen’s male concubines.”

“Yeah! Aren’t you afraid that the Queen would have your beautiful little redhead hung at her trophy room?” Kyota said as he started to undress the horrified Sakuragi. They still think that he was a girl. Well, Kyota’s lust-filled face immediately changed into horror when he found that Sakuragi was a flat-chest instead of the D-cup sized woman he met at the snowy mountains. Sendoh noticed it too.

“You’re…You’re a man?!” Sendoh exclaimed softly, looking back and forth from Sakuragi’s face to his chest and back again.

“What do you think I am, you hentai, Venus the Goddess of Love?” Sakuragi replied in disgust.

Sendoh and Kyota stared at Sakuragi for a long while before the tall haired man grinned and said, “No biggie. I’m a bisexual anyway.”

“Well, I don’t mind being a bisexual just for once,” Kyota scratched his chin. “Come here, you lovely piece of art!”

Sakuragi was way too overwhelmed to give the signal for attack as these two hentai-s ‘attacked’ first. Haroko and the gang didn’t need any signal. They immediately jumped onto the men’s back and try to beat the lights out of them but they were too strong and trained a lot to be beaten by mere sex-changed women. Without warning, Rukawa came in between Sendoh and Kyota, glared at them possessively and angrily before taking out his twin daggers he inherited from his mother and stabbed their shoulders.

“Nobody takes my redhead,” Rukawa hissed at the two bleeding Shirogane members before Haroko and Yuki hit the lights out of them. Sakuragi thought he heard him say that but there was no time for sappy overwhelming feelings. They have to get to the leader of the Shirogane Clan, Uozumi. While Sakuragi and his girlfriends fought their way towards the balcony of the castle where Queen Ayako was held captive, Rukawa raced his way through. The Queen was his first priority. Sakuragi was the most desperate to get rid of all the Shirogane Clan members because they were approaching him with those lust-filled eyes and calling him “My redhead darling” and all. He head-butted all of them without a care in the world.

“Looks like you’re really everything a man wants in their life, whether you’re a man or a woman,” Haroko said.

“Urusai!” Sakuragi growled. He had enough of being somebody else’s dream partner.

At the balcony, Uozumi dragged Queen Ayako to face her people and, with the knife still at her jugular, threatened, “You will denounce your title as the Queen of Amazon Island and give all your riches and your throne to me in front of all these pathetic fools below you! Now bow down to me!”

“I will not!” Queen Ayako said sternly as she hit her paper fan onto Uozumi’s head. “You may have my throne and all, but you’ll never have the hearts of my people! I will not allow the sacredness of the Amazon women to be corrupted by the likes of you!”

“Then you die by your own foolishness!” Uozumi growled as he raised the knife high to stab the Queen’s heart. Queen Ayako didn’t have time to react. She may be a great fighter but she definitely had no power against this foreign man who was 2 meter tall and had the strength of 20 cows. She closed her eyes and tried to protect herself with her paper fan.

Just when Uozumi was about to stab her, Rukawa appeared just in time and threw one of his twin daggers at Uozumi’s hand, making him drop the knife. Uozumi glared venomously at the blue-eyed, fox-faced man and flung the Queen aside. While Haroko, Yuki and Fujii led the Queen towards her safety by sliding down the pole while holding the Queen in their arms, the battle between the giant and the kitsune started. Blows after blows were hit at each other, but it was evident that Uozumi had the upper hand with his abnormally large sword. He soon kicked the twin daggers out of Rukawa’s hands and sent him crashing on his back onto the castle floor. He raised his sword above his head and growled, “I’ll teach you for sending my worthy men down to their graves and mess with my victory!”

“STOP!!! It is me that you want!!” A loud yell was heard and a bowl was thrown at Uozumi’s thick head. He turned to see ours truly Sakuragi standing there with his eyes full of anger and challenge with his red flowing hair blown under the wind. Uozumi widened his eyes at the sight of him.
“The beautiful redhead!” Uozumi muttered under his breath and charged after him. Sakuragi split and ran back into the castle. As he ran, he dodged the blows from Uozumi’s huge sword. Once in a while he gave Uozumi a punch or a kick in the butt or a head-butt or two, but the 2 meter giant remained standing. Mido and Noma came out of their hiding place and ran after Sakuragi.

“So, you got any ideas how we’re gonna get out of here?” Mido asked, trying to catch up with the sprinter Sakuragi.

“Uh, not entirely,” Sakuragi said sheepishly.

“You mean to tell me you have no plan at all??”

“Hey, I’m working on it was I go, OK? I’m no Einstein!” Sakuragi said. Soon he saw from the window the tower where the castle members put out their fireworks. He turned to Mido with a smile and Mido winked, putting a thumbs-up. With great leaps, the cat jumped from one roof to another with the mynah following close behind until he entered the fireworks tower. From there, he scared the workers into coming down the tower with his glowing bronze eyes and his exaggerated scary voice and smuggled a huge rocket.

Meanwhile, the fight between Uozumi and Sakuragi has led them up to the high roof of the castle. Uozumi swung his sword again and again at Sakuragi, barely missing his hair. He looked at Sakuragi with his lust-filled eyes and said, “Seems like you’ve run out of bright ideas now, haven’t you? Well, after I’ve defeated you and place myself as the rightful king of Amazon Island, you are going to be my wife and we’ll certainly make beautiful music together, that is, if my men doesn’t do it first before me.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Sakuragi replied with a disgust look on his face, “but I’ve already been taken. Besides, I’m a man, and I bet you’re not interested in men now, are you?”

Uozumi kept silent for a while before chuckling and replied, “Well, in that case I can make an exception now, can’t I?”

Sakuragi grimaced. He didn’t expect men from other countries could be so lenient and just do whatever they want to do with people. He was even surprised to see that these hentai-s are willing to be gay just for the sake of having him. ‘Now that’s seriously demented,’ he thought.

Soon he caught sight of Mido at the opposite end of the roof with the rocket he smuggled strapped onto his back. He smiled and said to Uozumi, “Actually I still have another gig under my sleeve.”

With that he jumped high and landed hard onto Uozumi’s shoulders, forcing his feet halfway through the roof, taking Uozumi by surprise. As he struggled to get his stuck feet out of the hole, Sakuragi whistled at Mido, giving him the signal. Mido nodded and pointed his claw at the string, lighting the rocket. Within seconds, the rocket was soaring towards Uozumi and hitting him in the gut. Sakuragi caught the bronze-eyed neko just in time as the rocket carried Uozumi all the way towards the fireworks tower. The rocket exploded and so did Uozumi with it. The whole firework tower was alight as the other fireworks inside the tower were lit and they whizzed and fizzed and burned throughout the evening sky. Uozumi, needless to say, was fried beyond recognition and he surely couldn’t survive this one.

Sakuragi cheered and gave Mido a high-five before sliding down to the stairs of the castle using the rope that hung the lanterns with flourish. He came up to his girlfriends who were now back into their original sex again and gave them a group hug. Rukawa has come out of the castle and rushed over to him and also gave him a hug, much to the girls’ amazement and Sakuragi’s surprise. When he finally let go, he was actually blushing as red as Sakuragi’s flushed face. The girls giggled and oohed at them.

Hikoichi then suddenly appeared looking very battered and dirty indeed (obviously he got a little taste of fireworks) and was fuming mad. Behind him was the Queen, who looked less charismatic and majestic than before, but more or less a-OK. The Queen’s counselor stomped towards Sakuragi and began ranting and raving at him.

“You imbecile! You rogue! You inconsiderate, crazy fool! Look what you have done to the Queen’s castle! You have practically caused a serious riot over the whole Primal City! You should be locked in the dungeon for this…”

His angry words were cut short by the Queen’s hand. She stepped towards the redhead and said in a leveled voice, “I’ve heard about you too, and I know your mother. You’ve stolen your mother’s armour and sword. You impersonated a woman and infiltrated the training camp. You entered the war when you know that you are no high-ranked officer’s son and that men are not allowed at all to join the war. You caused a great confusion in your troop and even ruined my castle.”

Sakuragi shrank. He didn’t think that he had done so much damage just because he wanted to help his mother and help the Primal City.

“And,” Queen Ayako continued, “you have saved us all from the Shirogane Clan. For that, I thank you.”

With that, she curtsied to Sakuragi, something only a royal person with high gratitude would do. At upon seeing this, Hikoichi went onto all fours on the floor. Rukawa went down on one knee gracefully and with suavity. Haroko, Fujii and Yuki also did the same. Sakuragi was shocked. They were actually bowing down to him? But…But all he did was just trying to help his mother and save the Queen. In fact, all this adventure started when he wanted to save his mother’s life. He turned around and saw that the rest of the citizens of Primal City also did the same—going down on one knee or on all fours as gratitude. This was too much. Sakuragi felt awkward all over.

“Come on, man! Stand up! Please, don’t do this! It’s too much!” Sakuragi said. “I may be a tensai, but this is too much! Nya ha ha ha ha ha~!!”

Everyone slowly got up. Queen Ayako smiled and called Hikoichi using her paper fan to get up on his feet before saying, “Hikoichi, make sure that…what’s your name again.”

“Hanamichi, Your Majesty,” Sakuragi replied. “Sakuragi Hanamichi.”

“Yes, well, make sure that Sakuragi Hanamichi here gets a post in the castle.”

Hikoichi almost choked when he heard that, but he regained his composure so as not to show his disapproval in front of the Queen and said, “But, Your Majesty, there’s no position here suitable for him. It’s practically full.”

“Fine,” Queen Ayako said humourously while pointing her thumb at Hikoichi. “You can have his job, Sakuragi.”
That immediately sent Hikoichi into a total blackout. The girls giggled behind Sakuragi’s back. Sakuragi tried to hold his. Rukawa secretly smiled to himself.

“Thank you very much, Your Majesty,” Sakuragi replied. “I would be honoured to be part of the castle, but for the record, I think I’ve been away from home for too long. I gotta go back home and see my mother before she thinks that I’ve been decapitated.”

“Very well,” Queen Ayako replied as she removed the priceless necklace off her neck and put it around Sakuragi’s. “Then take this Primal Sword so that your mother knows what you have done for me, and this necklace so that everyone knows what you have done for the Amazon Island.”

Sakuragi stared in awe at the sparkling necklace before him and, out of his overwhelming heart, he reached out one hand and with one swipe, he hugged the Queen close to him. Queen Ayako was taken by surprise at first before chuckling and hugging him back. The girls were surprised to see that Sakuragi dared to have direct contact with the Queen. If it weren’t for Queen Ayako’s good nature and humour, his head would be rolling on the floor by now.

After hugging the Queen, he turned and hugged his girlfriends again, bidding them goodbye and good luck. As he walked towards his horse Oukutsu, Rukawa stepped in front of him, staring at him with his blue eyes.

“Hait? What do you want, kitsune?” Sakuragi asked.

“I just…want to say that…you…” Rukawa said hesitantly, scratching his head before saying briefly, “You fight well. Congratulations. Arigatogozaimas…”

“Oh,” Sakuragi replied, a trace of disappointment on his face. He was expecting him to say something more than that, but he guessed that Rukawa might be still touchy about the fact that he pulled such a big hoax onto the troop. He sighed and got on Oukutsu, riding off down the castle stairs and towards the direction of his village. Rukawa stared at his disappearing figure in surprise: what did I say wrong?

“You know, you’re missing out something very precious,” Queen Ayako said suddenly to his ear. “A pinch of salt might be insignificant-looking, but they are the best among all spices.”

“Your Majesty?” Rukawa turned to Queen Ayako, looking confused. As a result, he was hit in the head by the Queen’s paper fan.

“Baka! I know you like him and you’re letting him get away! If I were you, I would bang my head on the wall for being such an idiot! He may be a guy, but you don’t get to meet this kind of people everyday, you know!”

Rukawa didn’t know what else to say.