Created: 2-22-06
I sat there as I watched Mommy Kim swing slowly from side to side by the rope hanging around her neck. I watched as her green eyes slowly lose their colour and her skin growing pale. I stared at the beautiful light blue dress and her white high-heeled sandals and her ponytail dangled lazily over her shoulder. It was the same outfit she wore in the picture she showed me on her prom night. She looked so beautiful then. Now? Minus the position she’s in, she’d be even more beautiful than before.
I soon heard Stepdaddy Josh calling for Mommy Kim. I didn’t move from my spot. I didn’t want him to see Mommy Kim dangling from the ceiling with the rope around her neck, slowly bruising it. I went over to her and licked her toes. They were cold and hard and tasted a little like pee, but I kept on licking them. Either I wanted her to wake up or to say goodbye, I wasn’t sure. I was feeling rather giddy and disoriented still from the sight of her death. Right now, I just felt like licking her toes and giving her a few kisses before Stepdaddy Josh sees her this way.
Stepdaddy Josh came into the room. Chaos ensured. I watched him pacing to and fro with tears in his eyes, muttering “Oh, my God” over and over again. I went over to the cordless phone and fetched it for him. He stopped pacing and took the phone from my mouth to call for help. He was talking to Sister Monique. I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was blaming me a little for not saving Mommy Kim. I did. Of course I did. I wanted to save Mommy Kim with all my heart. I really did. But when Mommy Kim said goodbye before she stuck her head through the noose, I knew that she didn’t want to be saved. She didn’t want me to run to her and bark and bite and pull at her arm or tug her dress so that she would get off the chair like my fellow friends did saving their Mommies and Daddies on TV. She wanted to die. She wanted to go away and she didn’t want to be rescued. I love Mommy Kim and I always listened to her and did what she said, no matter how bad the command was.
I heard Sister Monique in the phone telling Stepdaddy Josh that she would be coming over and for him to call the ambulance. Stepdaddy Josh did just that. After the very desperate and emotional 911 call, he came up to Mommy Kim and tried to take her off the rope. As he lay her down on the floor, I tried to give her a kiss, but he forbade me to do so. Moments later, I heard sirens blaring. People in white came rushing in with all that human medical stuff I didn’t understand and carried Mommy Kim on a stretcher. Sister Monique came in later and had her hands on Stepdaddy Josh’s shoulders, trying to comfort him. He didn’t say anything. He just got up from the bed he was sitting on and followed behind the people in white into the huge red and white ambulance. Sister Monique took my collar—the precious red and blue collar Mommy Kim bought for me—and whispered for me to come with her. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay and wait for Stepdaddy Josh to bring Mommy Kim home, no matter how far-fetched that idea seemed. I wanted Mommy Kim to come home.
But I knew she would never come home. As Sister Monique coaxed me to get into her car and as we left the beautiful double-storey bungalow, I knew I would never ever see Mommy Kim again.
Just like I would never ever see Daddy Ron again.
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I woke up to the sound of crickets outside the house. I sat up and looked at the window that let in the soft light of the moon, trying to remember why was I lying on a rug in the living room of Sister Monique’s house. Oh, right, I remembered. Sister Monique had decided to take me in because Stepdaddy Josh didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Sister Monique had told him that he needed the company of man’s best friend at these mournful times, but he didn’t want to. He said something about me reminding him of Mommy Kim’s death and told Sister Monique to take me out of his sight. So she did.
I didn’t blame him. I never did. It’s only human for him to assume that I should’ve saved Mommy Kim beforehand, so it’s also only human for him to blame me for Mommy Kim’s suicidal death and to get rid of me. But I truly wished that I could tell Stepdaddy Josh about what I saw in Mommy Kim’s eyes. If only I could speak human language, I’d tell him everything. I wanted to tell him that Mommy Kim wanted to go. I wanted to tell him that she wanted to die, and that she didn’t want my help to save her. I wanted to. I really do. But I guess it was not meant to be.
I got up and went up the stairs into the bedroom where Sister Monique and Brother Wade slept. They were in each other’s arms, snoring peacefully and in full blissfulness. I smiled as much as my doggy lips would allow it before I went off to check on their kids—twins Michael and Wanda. They weren’t asleep, but they were too busy trying to hack into some secret NASA project to pay nay attention to me peeking on them at the door. Like father, like pups, my old mother used to say.
I continued to ponder about this family as I trotted down the stairs back to the living room. They’re so blissful, like a one big happy family with no troubles in the world to think about. Sister Monique is doing well as the new president of Club Banana and Brother Wade and the twins are practically flourishing in their career as the brains behind the crime fighters. They’re positively too rich and too happy to have me around to complicate their lives. After all, I belonged to an owner who committed suicide and whose husband disowned. I might bring bad memories for them. It would be better for them if I just left. And that’s just what I did. I scrambled out of the house through the half-open kitchen window and out into the dark night.
As I walked on wondering where I should go next, I began to recall my past, just as if it had only happened yesterday…
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