CHAPTER FOURTEEN: HEROS & RETARDS
“Hey, retard! Do you want to be a hero?”
Draco pulled me beside the toilet during recess and asked me that with a grin on his face.
I know what ‘retard’ is—that’s me; but what is a hero? Is it better than a retard?
“Heroes are very brave people. What others don’t dare to do, heroes can. Everybody wants to be a hero,” Draco explained as he held up his thumb, saying that the thumb was a hero and the little finger was a retard.
The thumb was very fat and plump, the little finger was thin and tiny; I’m quite big and plump, so I should be the thumb. So I said, “I want to be a hero.”
Draco patted my shoulder and said, “Good fellow! I guarantee you’ll be a really cool hero!”
He came close to my ear and whispered, “Later, when you go into class, pull up Hermione’s skirt and see what colour is her underwear, and then report to me. If you do that, we’ll definitely call you a hero.”
“If Hermione doesn’t have an underwear, how am I gonna see it?” I asked.
Draco pulled at my pants and said, “Everyone has an underwear. Don’t tell me you don’t have one!”
Of course I do, and it’s white. It even has a tag on it written ‘30’. How expensive! It’s more expensive than having ice cream on waffles.
But I had another question, “Will Hermione be angry?”
Draco laughed out loud, “Of course not! Who would be angry at a hero?”
So I walked into class and saw her sitting at her table writing. How am I going to pull up her skirt?
I rushed to ask Draco about it.
“Oh, for goodness sake! Don’t be daft, boy. Try and think of something to make her stand up,” Draco glared at me and said, “Hurry! Hurry! We’ll be waiting for you at the corridor.”
I tried to think of something, but I couldn’t.
But then Hermione stood up on her own and walked quickly out of the classroom. I quickly chased after her. I was afraid of losing her that I yelled, “Hermione, wait!”
Hermione turned around and asked, “What is it, Ronald?”
I said, “Don’t go so fast, or I won’t be able to pull up your skirt.”
“Pull up what!” Hermione asked me very loudly and her eyes were huge.
“Pull up your skirt, that’s what. Or else you tell me for yourself, what colour is your underwear?” I had to ask her.
Hermione looked at me with her eyes almost popping out. She growled fiercely, “What did you say?”
I repeated what I said.
Suddenly she clenched her fist and punched my stomach real hard. I yelled in pain. She’s so weird. Maybe she wasn’t wearing any underwear, but she didn’t have to hit me.
“Humph! I get it! There’s gotta be someone behind this,” Hermione suddenly nodded, then pointed at my nose and asked, “Who asked you to do this?”
I replied, “It was Draco Malfoy. He said he was going to make me a hero.”
Hermione humph-ed again and said, “I knew it!”
She gave me a hard kick and said, “You are such big fat retard! You’re so good at being tricked, you wouldn’t even know it when you’ve been tricked to death!”
Then she told me, “Pulling up girls’ skirts are not heroes, they’re animals. Looking at girls’ underwear is no different than being a beast.”
I became angry. I’m a human boy, so why did Draco trick me to become an animal or a bee?
I’m not going to listen to Draco ever again, in fact, I’m going to lie to him that I’m actually wearing a red underwear.
I’m gonna trick him next time.
But Harry Scarface said, “You speak about underwear again and I’ll ignore you for the rest of your life. You are so bored.”
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