I sighed today.
Not just any sigh where people are just gonna hear it and forget about it.
It’s one of those sighs that is really long and drawn out and makes everyone look at you like you just suffered some sort of mental breakdown kind of depression.
And it definitely didn’t make me feel any better getting it off my chest.
Wait. Lemme just start from the beginning.
Today, after last night’s date, Light approached me as soon as we met in front of the office building. She was giving me that expectant smile, like some teenage cheerleader waiting for the next gossip of the new blood in the jock team.
“So~? How did it go?”
“H…How did what go?”
“Your date, gay-bo! Your date! Was it a success?”
I hushed her, knowing that she said it a little too loud. After calming down some, I muttered, “I told you, Light. It’s not a date. It’s just dinner.”
“That’s called a date, gay-bo,” Light groaned. “I ain’t born yesterday. So? When’s the next date?”
“Well…there isn’t any…”
“What? There is no next time?” Light guffawed and clapped my back real hard. “You’re incredible, my little gay-bo senior, you know that? What the fuck are you doing?”
I just laughed that comment away. Like I said, she may be crude, but she’s a good girl. She didn’t mean any harm. Everyone in the office is used to her way of talk, as long as you know how to read between the lines. I guess this is how dykes comfort people.
I thought about what my chat friends told me. I thought about what they asked and what they suggested. One told me to ask myself whether it was really OK to end it like this. One suggested that when Dragon Guy said he didn’t get to do dinner very often, he must have meant to hint that I should’ve responded by offering to go out for dinner. One told me that someone had thrown me a straight ball, and I didn’t have the glove to catch it and that it was a chance in a lifetime.
So I sighed.
I sighed at work.
I sighed at lunch.
I sighed at class.
I sighed for my indecisiveness. I sighed for my cowardice. I sighed for being so fucking stupid. I sighed for being me.
And it sucks.
Now here I am, sitting in front of the PC, sighing for goodness knows how many times. I think about what Dragon Guy said, about how he no longer goes out for dinners and being adventurous in an eating sense because all his friends had their own life to live, about how he couldn’t do anything about it and about how happy he was to eat out again.
Should I have done something?
Should I have said something?
I don’t know…
Hey, guys. Train Boy here. You think…it’s alright for me now? I haven’t called him yet…I’m still nervous as usual.
Twincest: Gah! What are you doing?!
Padfoot: Why don’t you just bloody call?!
I’m afraid if I call too soon, he might think I’m too clingy…
Know-It-All: Are you a moron?! What are you so afraid about, dammit?!
QuibblerGirl: I understand how you feel, but didn’t you agree to call him back?
Moony: Yeah. If you don’t call now, when ARE you gonna call?
I…guess they’re right. I guess I should still call…
HerbologyFreak: Don’t ask him out this time. Let him decide. Steer him right. Besides, he’s more of a food expert than you are.
PotionsMaster: Say something like “Thank you for last night. I had a great time. If it’s alright with you, may I have the honour to ask you out again?” or maybe “If you have no friends to eat out with you, how’s about I take over?”
Well, he’s got something here. It should be alright.
Alright! I’ll call!
Twincest: That’s the spirit! Charge on!
HerbologyFreak: Go all out kamikaze mode, man!
Padfoot: Right on, Train Boy!
No one’s picking up…
HerbologyFreak: I knew it…
I hang up the phone and sigh. He’ll see a missed call. He’ll call back. Or I could just call back later. I just need to get my words right.
The phone rings. I see the number ID. It’s him. I pick it up.
“Yes, hello?”
“Hey,” Dragon Guy’s beautiful voice ring in my ear. “Sorry I missed your call.”
“Oh, it’s OK,” I chuckled good-naturedly. “Just wanna say thanks for last night.”
“Naw, I should be thankful. I really had fun.”
“Um…remember at the station I said I’ll call?”
“Yeah?”
“Well…I…I was wondering…” I swallow and take a breath before I continue, “Last night you told me you got no one to eat out anymore, so…you know…Could I…I mean, if it’s alright with you, can I…do that…for you…?”
Finally! I said it! I managed to say it in one go! Atta boy!
“Oh yeah, sure, why not?”
I stop. Did he…Did he just say…?
“Ex…Excuse me…?”
“I’m cool with you going food hunting with me. I appreciate your food expertise as well, he he!”
“R-R-R-R-Really?!” I am stuttering again.
“Of course really. Are you always that articulate?”
“W-W-Well, sorry…I wanted to tell you that last night but…”
“Well, FYI, Train Boy, at that time I was already hinting you.”
I drop the phone in shock. Oh my God! It’s just as what my chat friends predicted! Fuck! How can I be so stupid?! I hurriedly pick up before I lose him.
“Hello? You there?”
“Y-Yeah! I’m here!” Thank God, my phone is still intact.
“Well, now that you’ve mentioned it, there is one place I’d like to go check out.”
“OK, OK, cool! I’m cool!”
“I’ll give you a call then. Wait, maybe we don’t have to waste so much credit calling, since I might not be available. How’s about we sms each other? Would that be alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, sure! No problem!”
We talk for quite a while. An hour, maybe, just about nothing in particular as usual. Technically I don’t really care about the topic we’re talking about, as long as we are talking and as long as I’m hearing his voice. It feels almost sad to say goodbye, but Dragon Guy has an early meeting tomorrow morning, so he has to turn in soon. We give each other our goodnight wishes and as usual Dragon Guy hopes for me not to get bitten by bed bugs. As soon as I hang up, I am as high as a coke addict.
I finally got him to agree on a second date! Thanks to you guys! I really owe you one! You guys done so much for me!
PotionsMaster: Are you bloody serious?
QuibblerGirl: Second date is in the house, baby!
HerbologyFreak: You’re amazing, Train Boy! You really did it!
Know-It-All: I’m so happy I could cry right now! (sob)
PotionsMaster: Huh! I told you he was hinting you on something! I can never be wrong about these things!
Twincest: Yeah, whatever. Look, it’s about time we plan out the next date! Since you guys already decided on the place, think about what to wear!
Moony: You said something about hinting. What does that mean?
Padfoot: Forget about hints, and forget about dressing! Topic of conversation between you guys is much more important.
Know-It-All: I agree. Train Boy is running out of stuff to say now.
Wormtail: Wait, how old is Dragon Guy and how does he look like? At least tell me how his voice sounds like?
Padfoot: Get off the line, you fucking pervert! Why are you asking that for?!
QuibblerGirl: Eh? Another new addition?
Twincest: I think it’s best if Train Boy talk about things he’s expert at, like his hobbies or anything to do with his profession, maybe.
HerbologyFreak: No way! Remember he’s a Honeydukes boy. You don’t want to bore Dragon Guy with stuff like that!
QuibblerGirl: How about movies? Ask Dragon Guy what sort of movies or movie scenes he likes.
Padfoot: I envy Train Boy. I’ve never had dinner with anyone special before. Every time I try asking for a date, they all say “Why would I wanna eat in front of you with a face like that”…
Know-It-All: He doesn’t have to talk much really. Shy boys are quite cute as well.
Wormtail: At least tell me if his voice is high or deep…I really need to know.
It feels like things are getting more and more chatty now, and I’m pushed aside as a third person. Oh well, at least they are trying. I mean, they are doing this out of concern for me.
Oh, I’m getting a message. I pick up the phone to check.
Thanks for calling me. I’m really happy. Goodnight.
I think…I think…
I think I’m really in love with him.
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